Like most colleges, Bloomsburg is no different when it comes to physical education requirements. Each student must take at least two credits of gym in order to graduate. While most of us have changed since out foolhardy high school days, the dynamics in a gym class have not. So, if you’ve taken a gym class, you’ll know exactly what we’re talking about and if you haven’t filled that physical education requirement, be warned!
The guy who literally think he’s in the OlympicsHe’s not only breaking a sweat but he’s drenched his t-shirt. Seriously, participation is required, not domination. In his attempt to assert his masculinity, he turns an otherwise enjoyable game of volleyball into a blood bath, making at least one person cry in the process. Seriously dude, calm down.
The actual athletes who try to do as little as physically possible to “save themselves” for their real practiceWe all know those kids – the ones who use their real sport’s practice as a way of getting out of class. God forbid they elevate their heart rate even slightly and their entire routine will be thrown off. “But, I have to pitch batting practice today so that scooter hockey is really going to mess with my arm rotation…”
The non-athletes who try to do as little as possibleWe’ll admit that playing racquetball for an hour every other day isn’t our favorite part of the week but some people just take their hatred of gym to a whole different level. Sulking all of class, these are the kids who try to extend the lecture portion of the hour by asking too many questions or feigning interest in the function of the anterior cruciate ligament.
The senior who literally needs this one class to graduateHe doesn’t want to be there and the professor doesn’t want him there. He’s spent a long 22 years trying to earn his bachelor’s degree and this is his final class. He spends most of the time checking the clock or his phone to meet up his buddies at Hardware later because he’s literally “so over this, man.”
The scared freshman who gets death glares from everyone for scheduling a gym class so early and stealing spots of needy seniorOf course, you’ll always find that one second semester freshman who used their priority scheduling to snag a coveted spot in Team Sports or Exercise and You in order to fill their requirement early. There’s no denying it’s a genius move on their part but that won’t stop upperclassmen from throwing them dirty looks for the first few weeks of class.
The girl who tries count the class as her daily exercise routine“How many reps will get me a thigh gap?” Detailing everything she ate to the professor, this girl is desperately trying to get her cardio in during class so she can spend more time doing homework later…or, you know, maybe watching reruns of One Tree Hill.
The guy running on sheer caffeine aloneThe junior overachiever who tried to take as many classes as possible in order to graduate in three years…yea, apparently people want to leave college early! He comes into class in a coffee frenzy, textbooks spilling everywhere and backpack bulging. The second the professor blows the final whistle in your game of ultimate Frisbee, he’s sprinting to catch the bus so he’s not late for the rest of his jam-packed day.
The girl who actually has no idea what basketball isThese are usually the people who really wanted to take Ballet or Walking 101 but couldn’t get a spot. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a lack of athletic ability but it’s all types of awkward when team sports get involved they drop the ball, literally.
The study abroad/exchange student who has no idea how to play any American sport but turns out to be a champ at all of themNeed we say more?