Confidence Is A B*tch

I was never notorious for being the nice girl. In fact, I often have been falsely recognized for being a b*tch. This confused me because I would never go around victimizing people Regina George style or anything. I never considered myself a mean person, so the phrase was not only inaccurate, but hurtful.  

When I got to college, I decided to redefine myself as a “nice girl”. When you are in an environment where you don’t know people, you obviously are going to try your very best to get along with everyone because you are trying to mature and break free from high school drama.

It really was an interesting experience, but also one I will never try again. To be honest, this experience left me feeling extremely exhausted. I realized that in order to be this “nice girl”, I had to stifle my thoughts and opinions to keep the boat from rocking. 

I realized that nice girls would rather be pleasant than be right. You tend to not speak your mind to avoid upsetting anyone. And when you do speak your mind, an apology often follows because being nice is more important than being you. So I decided to be a nice b*tch. 

Lets just get one thing straight. You can cut the nice girl routine and still be a decent person. Refusing to be overly nice doesn’t mean your values revolve around being mean, because being mean is not the idea I am trying to pitch here. It means having an inner voice, or what I would like to call it, inner b*tch, and using it to get what you want and deserve.

So, I decided I wanted to take my inner b*tch and run with her. And I did. We communed, developed an admirable “b*tch pitch”, leaving Regina George in the dust and channeling a little more Taylor Swift – an unapologetic confidence that can take over the world (You can hate her, but you ain’t her).

Here are 10 things you should remember when you feel the need to channel your inner nice b*tch:

1.) Your opinions are valuable no matter what, even if they differ from the social norms.

2.) Project confidence, but always be respectful.  Self esteem has nothing to do with bringing others down.

3.) “Well-behaved women seldom make history”- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

4.) Wall Street Journal researchers examined the “agreeableness” of both men and women and found that those who measured below average on agreeableness moved higher up professionally than nice people.

5.) Having a voice comes with side effects. Be prepared for people not to like you. People will always have something negative to say. It is your job to not give a f*ck. Not one drop of your self-worth depends on the acceptance of others.

6.) There will also be people who respect you for using your inner bitch. In their eyes, you are fearless and could care less about the wrath of others. Embrace it.

7.) Don’t you dare apologize for it.

8.) Eliminate the phrase “Kill them with kindness” from your vocabulary and replace it with “Kill them with success and then bury them with a smile”.

9.) When something you want is at stake, you better keep your head held high and argue your way to the finish line.

10.) In the wise words of Tina Fey….”Bitches get stuff done!”

• self confidence