Dear All-Nighter,
I suppose I should start with the good: I’ve had a stable relationship with you for years. You got me through some very tight times in my life (usually before an essay or a big exam), and you’re tempting – I had so many more hours to procrastinate because I know I can simply rely on you to get me through a long or tough assignment.
But I can’t do this anymore, and neither can most other college/university students.
I’m sorry, but we’re done.
You can’t blame me for falling for you at the beginning. The reputation of the all-nighter among upper year students is only superseded by the Freshmen 15, terrible meal plans, and a crashing GPA. In fact, it’s all but expected that we hook up with you at least once, followed by a bad taste in the mouth, plenty of coffee, and the stumbling walk of exhaustion and shame. There’s a knowing look that is shared amongst the student body: somewhere between pity, sympathy and disgust lie the uncomfortable understanding that an all-nighter had happened.
The only thing that’s worse than the morning after is when that report – which was written at God knows when with God knows what, is handed back with a sub par grade and the lingering disapproval and regret. The fact is, quality is almost always sacrificed when you’re involved – the brain simply doesn’t work the same way at 4am. Considering how I barely had enough time to finish the first draft when you’re involved, editing and proofreading basically goes out the window, markers of poor quality that every T.A. can easily see.
I have to do this, and I know that this is good for me. As much as I enjoy watching the sunrise and grabbing a quick breakfast before everyone else, I want to be able to enjoy the moments before dawn finally breaks sleeping, instead of counting down the moments before I have to rush into the library to get my essays printed.
Besides, I’m still maturing, and time management is one of those things that you have to get a grasp on before you can become a fully functioning adult. Not only would a good, full 8 hours of sleep be a positive change to my physical health, it’s an important step for my mental wellbeing as well. All of that last minute stress could be avoided with just a little planning ahead.
So, I’m sorry all-nighters, but I’m done. You might find more unfortunate students to sink your hooks into, but I have no doubt that they’ll also reach the same conclusion: you’re just not worth it. This is for the best, and I’m going to sleep easy tonight.
Sincerely,
An exhausted student.
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