When I look back and think of where I was five years ago, it feels as if I’m peering into an entirely different life. In our generation, teenagers FEEL things. We were subjected to so much more than that of our parents at our age. Society has created a check list of what we should and shouldn’t do, be, like, hate and so on. We’re constantly connected to all aspects of the world, which means that there is no escape from the negativity in our lives. Nothing gets left at school, work, home or anywhere, because we constantly carry our burdens around with us through our incessant and dire need for constant communication. Here is a list of real advice that I needed to hear as a teenager (and sometimes still do).
1. Your reputation in high school does not define you.
You will change SO much in the next four years. You’ll go through so many phases, trends, crushes, friends, favorites and least favorites. But that’s what high school is all about! You’re supposed to be trying new things, deciding what kind of person you want to be, what you want to be passionate about. Don’t let rumors or the fear of judgment from your peers keep you from exploring different paths. It’s like T-Swift says: haters gonna hate.
2. You CAN live without him/her.
I know it’s cliche, but we all go through the devastation and fear of losing our first love. It hurts, I won’t sugar coat that, but in the end, it’s so important for you to realize your worth is not measured by how much he/she likes you. The important thing is that you like yourself.
3. You will get out.
My biggest fear growing up was that I would be stuck in my hometown for the rest of my life. Honestly, I still have to remind myself that I DID get out. The only thing that will keep you there is you. If you don’t believe in yourself and know that there are bigger, better things waiting for you out in the world, then you probably will end up stuck there.
4. The thing you’re worried about now, won’t matter to you in a year.
Think really hard about what you’re worried about at this exact second. Now, think really hard about what you were stressed about a year ago. Something tells me you’re having a hard time recalling, am I right? Believe it or not, rumors die, people move on and memories fade. Whatever awful gossip that’s being spread or whatever dumb fight you had with your friend today will mean nothing to you in a year. Even less than nothing in five years. The world really does go on.
5. You. Are. Beautiful.
This will be something you struggle with for the rest of your life, but these are the years where you doubt it the most. No matter what the girls at school tell you, regardless of what the media compares you to, you are so god damn beautiful, inside and out. You are not defined by this beauty, but you thrive within it. Be confident in who you are, and own it. Don’t ever, ever, EVER let anyone else tell you that you are anything less. Beauty is not measured by any one person. Remember that.
6. Even if you hate them sometimes, your family will always be there for you.
Some may not understand you, they may disagree with you on everything under the sun, they may not even know how to talk to you without starting an argument, but that doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t die for you. Family comes in all different shapes in sizes, to step-parents, to adoptive siblings, to crazy twice removed cousins. Regardless of the title, these are the people you’re stuck with, and believe me when I say they will always stick by you.
7. Remember that everyone is going through something.
As the saying goes, “Never judge anyone, for you never know the battle they are fighting.” I know it’s easy to lash out, to judge, to name blame for the awful aspects of life to certain people and their actions, but never forget this. They are currently fighting battles you know nothing about, just as you are to them. You are never in a position where it is okay to cause harm to another human being. Do not belittle, do not hurt, do not ever diminish someone’s outlook on the world. Do not be the reason their light shines a little dimmer.
8. Put down your phone.
So much of life is wasted looking down at a screen. So many missed opportunities, so many people we will never get the chance to meet, so many sights we will never see. The world will still be waiting for you in an hour. Pick up a book, go for a walk, have an in-person conversation with another human being. You will be amazed at what a gift the life in front of you can be when you’re not distracted by the constant connection to the rest of the world. Leave your phone at home every once in a while. Learn to let go of your own leash.
9. It’s okay to say no.
You have always struggled with this. You will pile your plate to the sky with responsibilities because you’re afraid of missed opportunities. While this is not a bad thing, it will take its toll on you. You are not a superhero. You cannot do it all, no matter how much you tell yourself you can. It’s okay to say no, whether it be to a job, a task, a friend, or a date. You do not owe yourself to anybody, and you do not have to justify “no” with excuses. Your friends will understand, there will be other jobs and opportunities and if you’re not interested, you’re not interested. Don’t try to convince yourself otherwise.