How many times have we heard, “He is in the friend zone!” or “I don’t want to be in the friend zone!”? Do we even know what it means to be in that area? And why is it a cliché for all? A couple of days ago, I was reading a Life Teen article that said, “Are you always her friend and never her boyfriend?” It caught my attention immediately because it is a popular issue in our daily lives. Most boys think that the friend zone is that awkward place where you have feelings for a girl, but she just wants to be friends. Hey, if you have any doubts, this is totally wrong!!
Friendship is like crawling, the first step that we developed almost automatically as social beings from the moment we were born. We get to know people and if we share ideas or feel good spending time together by different reasons, we will gradually be sharing more and more time talking, laughing, crying or joking. It might begin with those usually long conversations from sensitive topics of the family to random silly topics such as food or the weather. Why? Because we want to be part of the life of each other; we may have discovered something special: soul sisters or maybe the Ying-Yang kind-of-relationship. We support each other’s strengths and other not so good stuff and attitudes because we are created to love and be loved. It’s true; this is our purpose in life: loving others. Sometimes, you want to be surrounded by a lot of people that take care of us and our opinions and vice versa. Sometimes, one just might want to be with a few friends, the ones that have proven their sincerity in hard times, by either hearing you or maybe giving you some advice.
Nevertheless, did you know that you want to be near or talk to that person because you like him/her? If you are thinking right now a feeling similar to love, then yes, you are right! Because you learn to love the person you have by your side by the constant communication during the day, so you must love your friends and feel comfortable with something she or he is or reflects. So, the question is; why don’t you want to be in the friend zone? Why do you want to skip that essential step in relationships? Can you eat the inside of a watermelon without going through the ring? It is impossible to create a strong relationship, and I’m not only referring to romantic relationships but all relations we have, if we don’t begin with that first baby step: friendship.
It happens that sometimes you randomly see a boy and you immediately “recognize” as your prince charming, and claim it to be “love at first sight”. First, let me explain: this love doesn´t exist! It may have happened that you felt some kind of attractions, and that’s normal, but you don’t know each other, so you can’t fall in love just by his/her appearance. Thus, you want to ask for a date, trying to skip the first step. The article I referred to at the beginning was focused in that, “one day, one of those friendships may develop into a long-term relationship and marriage. But that has to happen naturally and over time. If it is meant to happen, it will; there is no need to rush it.” Friendship is beautiful; take the thought that you are there just because you are not enough to be more out of your mind!
We girls tend to think we are not pretty enough, or intelligent or maybe extroverted; however, we are all different, beautiful in our own uniqueness. It is the same with boys, be happy and feel fulfilled if girls call you brother or good friend because they are truly knowing you in your deepest and that’s wonderful. Open your eyes and see that what matters is the inside. Of course, a healthy clean boy or girl also helps, but beauty and muscles will someday disappear. If you want to change, you want to have relationships that begin focusing yourself in enriching friendships and not in short term relationships that only hurt you. Friendship is a blessing, not an opportunity! Enjoy it and see where it leads!