You’re seven weeks into the semester. You have 3 midterms, 2 papers and you’ve taken up residence in the library. There’s so much to do and so little time to do it. But then, time stops…
You get that phone call, you see that first Instagram post and everything comes crashing down. Your heart cracks into a thousand pieces and the pressures of everything you’ve been dealing with feel trivial in the midst of the tragic realization that you have just lost a loved one.
College is a time that is always painted in such an exciting and enchanting light; parties and clubs, homecoming and tailgates, Sororities and Fraternities and late nights with the people that matter the most. No one ever addresses the realities of dealing with the death of a loved one while being a matriculated student. Dealing with the death of a friend that you’ve known since your first day ever stepping on campus. It feels like you’re just expected to carry on because who cares that you just lost your brother? Who cares that your best friend was just in a brutal accident? It feels like nobody on campus will ever understand the emotions that are invading your heart at this very moment. Dealing with the heartache and grief while still trying to ace every paper and pass every exam. It’s like the weight of the world is coming down on you. Every time you close your eyes, you see them. You remember every single moment you ever shared with them and then think, “Man, if I had known…” It becomes a game of “what if’s” and “would of…could of… should of…” We should have stayed that extra hour at Six Flags and we could have been graduating together, but now they’re gone. How do we deal with this while still staying above water in all other things?
The answer is never clear, but we always find a way to move forward and be alright. We glue the pieces of our hearts back together because that’s what our loved one would want. We take our tests and we ace them because that’s what they would want for us to do. We write papers worthy of A+’s because they knew what we are capable of and wouldn’t want us to slack. And no, it may not seem like it at first, and you’re going to be angry and hurt for a while before it feels right to move on to anything that doesn’t remind you of them. However, they live on in each of us; leaving a piece of themselves with us before they depart. In every smile and thought, they’ll linger. And every so often you’ll see or think of something that causes their face to pop unbidden into your mind and you may smile, you may cry, you may hurt but in the end you’ll be alright. You’ll recover. Life doesn’t stop when tragedy strikes and neither should you.
R.I.P Quentin “Que” Abram
Heaven just got a whole lot better
Look after us, we love you always
Until we meet again