As collegiettes, we’ve all had to deal with the struggle that comes along with moving to college. Having everything you’ve been accustomed to snatched from you as you’re tossed into a whirlwind of change and foreign territory all at once is never easy, and isn’t meant to be either. Many have the option to go home every so often to reconnect with that feeling of familiarity and comfort when they need to, but some of us don’t have that luxury and are forced to make peace with the fact that we won’t be able to reconnect with that feeling as easily for at least a couple of months.
That’s the case for me, now almost two months into my freshman year at UMass Amherst, and the emotional rollercoaster is real. I’ve found myself craving any reminder of home and being too caught up in college life to even think about life back home all in one day. But while the pitfalls have definitely been rough, I’ve found ways to make the 7,000 miles seem a little smaller.
1. Create familiarity.
You’ve just been stripped of your routine lifestyle, but who says you can’t create a new one? In my two months here, I’ve made friends who’ve come from the same country as me, and it’s made all the difference. Making friends from your hometown can be tricky because coming to college is all about leaving your past behind and starting from scratch. Sometimes, though, being around company that reminds you of home can give you a sense of safety and security that cushions the blow that is homesickness. Every so often, a few friends and I will meet, eat Indian food, talk about home, and in the moment, home doesn’t feel like a 16 hour plane ride away.
2. Make choices that will make you happy.
This is your freshman year of college in a new city, country, continent, whichever it may be. I see everyone around me in this race to gather a massive number of credits, join way too many clubs and constantly stress about the future. The way I see it—this is the future we’ve been stressing about throughout high school and most of junior high, and we’re finally here.
Now before starting another race, breathe. Take a few courses of classes you love, join clubs that genuinely interest you no matter what they are and always be in good company, I can’t stress that enough. We’re the most homesick when we aren’t completely content with our lives. Making choices that will make me happy has turned homesickness into happy memories that I’ll always have but am also moving on from. Even the smallest things like going for long walks and getting acquainted with the area will help you slowly regain the familiarity that was recently lost because, at the end of the day, this is home now.
3. Call home…but also don’t.
Feeling homesick? Call your parents. Seems pretty standard. Being in touch with everyone from home has definitely made me still feel a part of my old life (shout-out to technology!). But I’ve also seen people refuse to leave their old lives behind and start creating a new one for themselves. Calling home can satisfy homesickness in a way that all these reasons cannot, but using this option in excess can prolong your homesickness and prevent you from making college a place you can call home.
Personally, I try to stay in touch with everyone from home in moderation while continuing to slowly let go of past comforts. Also, tell your friends and family all about your life here, keeping them updated with all the details will drive you to accomplish more, and gives you a way to incorporate them into the new life that you’re slowly creating for yourself.
4. Just be homesick. It’s okay.
I’ve seen (and am sometimes guilty of) people denying that they’re homesick, and forcing themselves to forget their lives of home and obsess over moving forward. If this is you, stop. You are miles away from home. Whether that number is seven or 7,000, it’s still a change—a massive change—and you’re allowed to feel uneasy about it sometimes. Never suppress any feelings of homesickness—hone them because they are normal. Accepting that you’re homesick will force you to do something about it, and it will eventually surpass. Like I said, I get homesick all the time and I always allow myself to feel everything and trust that it will slowly begin to fade.
5. Get out there and find your family, they are here and waiting for you.
This has definitely made my transition into college infinitely easier. Going back to #2: surround yourself with people that make you feel positive. Initially this might be tough—you might not find too many people to surround yourself with, but they will find you eventually. This is why everyone goes on about being in clubs that you’re interested in and choosing classes that you enjoy, not because they’ll give you a ton of credits. Immersing yourself in where your interests lie will attract like-minded people.
I’ve been lucky enough to attract people like that. It’s safe to say that the little family I’ve found here has made this new school, new state, new country and new continent feel almost as normal and familiar as life back home—all in less than two months. The power that positive people can have in your life is literally something short of miraculous.
Many of us are overcoming a distance from comfort, and sometimes it can be isolating. I can’t say I’ve conquered homesickness altogether—it’s a feeling that slowly but very surely creeps up on you. What I can say is that homesickness comes as quickly as it goes. These two months haven’t been easy, but as I slowly move out of this adjustment period, I don’t see myself as a foreign student without a home. I see myself as a UMass student with a new home, and perhaps the best one yet.