I have a big heart and I always want to take care of everyone. I’ll stop whatever I’m doing to help out literally anyone with their problems. I’m the oldest of three sisters, and it’s my job to watch out for them and help them. Therefore, I’m like that with everyone I come in contact with.  Â
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So about a couple weeks into my first semester as a college student, I met some amazing people and made pretty great friends. I watched out for them and tried to help them when they had a bad day. I asked about their problems and tried to give them a solution or just be a person they could talk to. So when I’m having a bad day, I automatically believe that my friends would do the same for me.Â
Yet, I’ve noticed that some people who I’m close with don’t exactly do that. Whenever I have a bad day, I’ve noticed that they become more distant, like they don’t want to hear about my day. Which led to me to realize that I shouldn’t run empty for someone who isn’t willing to do the same.Â
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Something came between us and I couldn’t figure it out. I honestly don’t know if it was from the recent politics or the drama that’s happening in our friend group that I don’t participate in, but I kept trying to fix it. I continued to force this relationship and tried to make it back to “normal.” Honestly, it became draining since it seemed like I was the only one trying. So after a while, I decided that there was no point in trying anymore.Â
I can’t make someone be my friend, and I had to learn that not everyone wants to be cared for the way I do. Also, I learned that I shouldn’t expect this from everyone I meet, and I shouldn’t let it consume me.
I should surround myself with friends who care for me the same way I care for them and want to include me in their plans. I should put my happiness before others sometimes, because it’s okay to be selfish and take care of myself. I will continually care for everyone I meet, but I’m going to be more cautious and accept that I care way too much.Â
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