When will I be ready? It’s the question that we ask ourselves after we’ve been single for a bit after a break up. There’s not a real answer because it’s up to you decide when you’re ready. There’s also not an appropriate amount of time for how long you’re suppose to wait. If the next day, you feel ready to get back into the dating game, that’s fine. If you’re like me and have spent almost three years out of the dating game, then that’s okay. Each person is different, which means we’re ready when we’re ready.
I spent most of my college career out of the dating game. I went into college single after breaking up with my ex. The tale of that story is in one of my other articles, “Why It’s Okay To Let Go”, in case you don’t know that story. For a short version, things just weren’t working out for us and it was better for me. I did haveI a crying fest and ate a lot of chocolate after the break up, even though I was the one to break up with him. Your previous relationship could have been terrible or it could have been wonderful, regardless, you cry after it ends because you shared an emotional connection with that person. All relationships require time and a piece of ourselves whether it was long or brief, so when it ends we feel some type of loss. Once I allowed myself to cry, I began to start a new chapter in my life, known as the single life.
Everyone complains saying how being single is awful and how they need someone. I had my fair share of complaints, which my friends can tell you about. I wasn’t ready for a relationship, but it was the idea of one that I wanted again. This reason isn’t why you should jump back into relationship. I learned that I needed to find myself during my single status. I learned new things about myself. The most important things being single taught me is how to be independent and to never settle. Independence is a necessary thing to learn. I learned to stand on my own without changing for anyone. I did what I wanted without fear of disappointing my significant other or worrying what they might say, I learned what I wanted in life, I joined different activities on campus that helped me step out of my comfort zone. I created stronger bonds with my friends. I created special memories and went on unforgettable adventures. I learned what I deserve and that settling will just lead to trouble again.
You don’t need to settle. You deserve everything you want. You don’t need to compromise your needs just to be with someone, when you know you won’t be happy. Unfortunately, dating isn’t like rom coms. The dating game isn’t easy, especially with how are generation is. It’s a trial and error process. I’m currently back in the dating game and it is no walk in the park. You will go out on dates that were terrible and I’m sorry to say that it’s not something to avoid, since dates are unpredictable. You will go on great dates, but sometimes the other person wasn’t into, so you might face rejection. Each guy you meet though before your next significant other teaches you a lesson on what you want and don’t want. I wish you luck if you’re back in the game like me. Remember don’t give up if it gets hard because in the end you will meet that person that turns your life upside down unexpectedly.