When I first set out to avoid Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be a piece of cake. I figured, being as single as I am, that not having a significant other would mean no problems. I could easily avoid a holiday centered on romantic love. So like many other lonely or heartbroken people out there, I looked at the day with the mindset that it was just like any other Tuesday. I would go about my business as I would on any normal weekday.
And it started off that way for me… until it didn’t. And I think in the end I am glad Valentine’s Day became basically unavoidable.
I woke up and launched into my normal routine of lying in bed for an extra fifteen minutes, checking my email hoping to see a wonderful “class is cancelled” message and scrolling mindlessly through social media. At my first glance of Instagram, however, I saw the unavoidable: a picture of my friend kissing her boyfriend, coupled with a caption declaring her love for him. At first, I quickly scrolled past it, my brain frantically screaming “abort, abort.” But as I brushed my teeth and got ready for class, I couldn’t help but feel silly. Did I really need to avoid Instagram all day just because I might see people talk about how much they love their boyfriend or girlfriend? Yes, those posts can be sickening, cheesy, and even a little fake sometimes, but it can also be kind of nice to see people being so positive and loving. I ended up caving and went back and liked her picture. In fact, I think I liked all the Valentine’s Day pictures my friends posted for their boyfriends and girlfriends. And it didn’t kill me, or really make myself feel bad at all about being alone on Valentine’s Day because one of my many realizations while trying to avoid the holiday was that I don’t want to be some cynical spinster friend. Instead, I want to support my friends who are in happy and healthy relationships because, honestly, what is the alternative? Is it wallowing in self-pity and being miserable about other people’s happiness? That doesn’t sound very pleasant at all. If my friends are happy in their relationships, I should be happy for them.
Liking Instagrams wasn’t the only way I failed at completely avoiding Valentine’s Day because it seemed relatively unavoidable in real life as well. Later in the day, as my roommate and I were walking through campus, she told me how she felt like she had seen more people carrying bouquets, teddy bears, boxes of chocolates, and other clichéd Valentine’s Day gifts than she had ever seen before on the holiday. And when she pointed that out to me, I had to agree with her. Again it struck me that seeing those people all happy on Valentine’s Day did not really make me feel bad, but rather made me feel kind of optimistic. It sounds trite to say that right now the world seems like it needs love and positivity more than ever, but it is true. So I realized once again that instead of feeling left out as a single person on a holiday meant for people in love, I should instead focus my feelings on basking in the love I saw around me.
I completely understand that if you’ve just gotten your heart broken, you may want to skip Valentine’s Day altogether and pretend it doesn’t exist. Do your thing! But if you are like me, and don’t actually mind being single all that much, maybe don’t give into the hype that Valentine’s Day is just an excuse for greeting card companies to make money or that it’s a stupid holiday because love should be celebrated everyday. Because okay, yes, love should be celebrated everyday, but some days we may need an extra reminder and Valentine’s Day is a good reminder! Celebrating love can be wonderful and positive and sometimes we just need to remember that, to quote the great rom-com Love Actually, love actually is all around.
I ended my Valentine’s Day lying in bed with my close friends, watching a really awful romantic comedy. We laughed and ate chocolate covered strawberries and had a great time with each other. No, I didn’t have a boyfriend to spend the day with, but I still had a great day and enjoyed seeing the love that was freely expressed all around me. Plus, the day gave me an excuse to eat an excessive amount of chocolate and who would want to avoid that? In the end, my experiment of avoiding Valentine’s Day was pretty much a failure, but I think it was for the best. I learned to find the positive (appreciating love) in the negative (being single on Valentine’s Day). Maybe if you are single next year and feeling lonely or sad about it, change your mindset and focus on the positivity around you. I promise it will make you feel better.