It’s easy to feel like you must be doing something wrong if Freshers’ Week doesn’t turn out to be the OMGBESTWEEKOFYOURLIFE™. Everyone around you, be it your mates, parents, or even college teachers have hyped your first week of uni so much that, for some of us, it fails to live up to its reputation.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that you will not feel like this forever. If you are overwhelmed and feel like you can’t catch up with all the things going on, don’t worry. University life will stay engaging, and you will have plenty of time to socialize and try out new hobbies at a different time. Missing one or two events can easily make you feel left out, kick starting a cycle whereby you miss future events because of insecurities about having missed out. Although it helps to make an effort to attend, the week is designed to contain too many things to do and see in the first place, so that you don’t run the risk of getting bored. Keep in mind that, although it may seem like everyone is attending everything, this will be a vocal minority. There will be many people like you who need some time to themselves along with socializing, or perhaps have other things they need to focus on.
Some freshers will profess their love to one another immediately and become what appears to be the best of friends, but beware of falling into interdependent friendships too early, as you will have closed yourself to new opportunities and people. That being said, there is no harm in befriending people in your corridor or immediate vicinity. Knowing even one person that you can take along to events will make both of you feel a lot more confident and open one another up to new experiences that you can tag each other along to.
Don’t be afraid to get yourself out there and attend events that you’re interested in by yourself. I can’t tell you how many opportunities I have missed out on because I didn’t follow my own advice! If you can push yourself to attend events alone, you will most likely find that there is absolutely nothing wrong in doing so and you might even meet at least one other person that had the same idea as you. Not to mention the amazing confidence boost you can get from experiencing success after having challenged yourself a little! I have found that it helps to frame going to events alone as if you were taking yourself out on a date or treating yourself. This can make the whole endeavor a lot less intimidating. As you become older, you will learn to enjoy the benefits of spending time with yourself, and now is the perfect time to start opening yourself up to it!
If you don’t enjoy clubbing and drinking, look for alternative, smaller events in the daytime or evening. Outside of your college, these can often be found on Facebook, or alternatively organized amongst your acquaintances. As soon as you open up about not enjoying the idea of binge-drinking on a Monday night, you will find like-minded people. I guarantee you that there are more people out there that are feeling stressed about freshers’ than people that aren’t, it just sometimes takes a little longer to find them because they may be struggling just like you! A great way to get to know people outside of a bar or club environment is to hang out in communal areas. If you feel insecure about doing so, you could take a book and wait for people to join you, or alternatively bring a pizza or baked goods with you to share. After all, barely any hungry fresher will turn down food!
Don’t be afraid to reach out to the support provided to you by the university if you really find yourself struggling at this point. Although staying connected to your friends and family at home can help you feel less alone, relying on them may make you feel worse about your situation here. Reaching out to the people around you will be much more effective in the long-run. You may find that befriending a Frep or somebody else older than you will help, as they are a reliably friendly face if you are feeling awkward at social events, and will be able to provide you with the details about where to turn to for further assistance. When recruiting people, your college will have looked for a diverse group of Freshers’ representatives, so you will hopefully find a good mix of louder and more quiet people to choose from! This is a difficult and confusing time, you are going through a massive change in environment and lifestyle. Your college and university will be prepared to help you through this turbulence, after all, pastoral assistance is what many people here are hired to do!
Do keep in mind that Freshers’ is just one week in your entire university experience. First impressions are important, but you will have a wide range of opportunities to make yours at any point during your time here. I met some of my closest friends at university much further along the line than Freshers’, and so do many other students. You will find that most people struggle with insecurities and feeling left out during their first year – remember that you are not alone!
Image Credits:
suzyhazelwood http://www.flickr.com/photos/139228535@N05/35396464626″>DSC02317-002 via http://photopin.com”>photopin https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>(license)
Wendelin Jacober http://www.flickr.com/photos/91619724@N04/33145981200″>YT “GRISELDA BLANCO” PLATTENTAUFE via http://photopin.com”>photopin https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)
kube414 http://www.flickr.com/photos/24105592@N02/23189235773″>Christmas cookies via http://photopin.com”>photopin https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>(license)
girl/afraid http://www.flickr.com/photos/67755316@N04/8132265811″>not too dark at all via http://photopin.com”>photopin https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)