Tina Vansteenbergen is a Professional Speaker that travels the country talking to women about women. Tina talked about her struggle of not having many female friends growing up and her journey of coming to love the women around her. From meeting the women in her life through different organizations and events, she realized how much of an impact being loved by the women around you can have on you. One organization she was apart of was Alpha Gamma Delta. Being in a true sisterhood showed her how amazing women are and how just loving the people around you unconditionally can really make a change in everyone’s life. Here are a few things I learned about sisterhood and what it means for those around us:
1. Sameness is not required for women to be friends
You don’t have to have everything in common with someone else to be best friends, let alone just friends! There are people you will naturally gravitate towards, but you can really create a true friendship with any woman around you. The best way to do that is to talk about what matters. When we talk about what matters, you’ll find that you and the other person have a lot more in common than you think. Talk about who empowers you, who you look up to, your passions and your fears! Tina made those of us in the audience find one other woman we didn’t know and have different conversations. After talking to someone I probably wouldn’t have talked to if it weren’t for this event, I found out that we had almost everything in common. I even left with a new friend!
2. Judgment teaches us nothing
If another woman comes to you for advice or just to vent, LISTEN TO THEM. Judging someone else’s situation, if anything, makes it harder on them. Just listen to what they have to say and suspend all judgments. Love them unconditionally and help them through it. As women, we already carry so much around with us everyday and we strive for nothing but perfection in a world that is against us. Why make that even harder for someone else that just needs to be loved?
3. It’s okay to leave a friendship or relationship
Loving someone no matter what they are going through is something we should all practice. Another thing we should all practice is knowing when someone is not good for you or your mental health. If you’re loving someone with your whole heart, but every time you leave them you feel terrible about yourself or stressed, then know that it’s okay to leave a friendship or relationship behind. Learn to take a step back from the situation and really evaluate whether it’s healthy or not. Tina talked about her experience of a guy dumping her after dating him for 7 years, and at first she thought she wouldn’t get through it, but then it was the women in her life that showed her that being single in your 20’s is such a great thing! You can literally do whatever you want, whenever you want and learn who you truly are on your own!
4. Teach each other what matters
Don’t tear down other women and don’t talk about just the surface level topics. Teach everyone around you what truly matters, which is love and what is important in your life. Love doesn’t mean just being in a relationship with someone else. It means supporting all of the people you choose to surround yourself with, including your sisterhood. The best way to teach others what matters is to show them and care for them. Again, talk about your passions, you major, what gets you out of bed in the morning and motivates you to be a better you everyday! Talk about how smart the women in your sisterhood are, not about how they dressed that day.
5. You don’t have to be in a sorority to find a sisterhood
When you hear the word “sisterhood,” you automatically thing of Greek life and sororities, but sisterhoods can be found anywhere. A close group of girls that always have your back can be found through a club, sport, organization, job, etc. You can join multiple sisterhoods and surround yourself with a network of empowering women! You’re never limited to just one. Follow your passions and pursue the things that set you soul on fire, and from that you will find you own girl gang!
Good luck with classes and go find your sisterhood, collegiettes!
Via Giphy