Getting into a new relationship can be a glorious thing.
This could be any type of relationship. Maybe you finally spoke to that one person in class who you always thought you’d click with and you found your new best friend. Or that Tinder date actually went really well. Although these relationships could be fun, it’s also important to keep your mental health in check. No matter what the relationship is, it’s pretty easy to get swept up in it and get overwhelmed by this new person in your life. Here are some tips for keeping yourself healthy while also having fun.
1. Setting boundaries
The first step to navigating a new relationship is to set boundaries. This could be any kind you need: boundaries in the relationship, for yourself, or for the other person. Setting boundaries in a relationship allows you to move freely without having to worry whether you’re crossing a line or not. Setting boundaries for the other person allows them to know what works for you and what doesn’t so that they don’t have to worry about either hurting you or making you upset. And finally, setting boundaries for yourself allows you to know when to take time for yourself and when to make time for another person. It may not seem like it now, but your paper is actually much more important than catching a movie.
2. Allow some you time
There’s nothing worse than merging into another person, as “you and I” just becomes “we.” This may not seem like a big deal at first, but soon enough, you won’t have time for a breather. The both of you will be so accustomed to this “we” that when you desperately need just “you” time, problems will arise. It’s best for the both of you to know early in the relationship when you will just need to do your own thing. During this “you” time, try either meditating, watching movies or doing your favourite things as a mental destressor.
3. Don’t be afraid to let them in
You don’t have to distance yourself all the time in order to manage your mental health while you’re in a new relationship. Letting this other person in could do wonders as well. It’s always hard disclosing what you’re going through to another person, but just talking to someone and allowing them to help could be good. It doesn’t have to be a therapy session; just either texting them or calling them to chat when you’re having a low day can also help. If you don’t feel like specifically talking about what’s wrong, don’t worry about it. Chat about a recent movie you both have seen or how your day was. It could be anything. You just don’t have to shut them out.
4. Knowing when to hit pause
If this new person always wants to hang out and dismisses you wanting time for yourself, maybe it’s best to know when to hit pause. This could be however long you need in order to gain your own identity back. Everything doesn’t need to happen all at once; there will be many other opportunities for you to go to that new coffee shop or watch that new movie. Explaining this to the new person and allowing a breather in the relationship could do wonders for it in the long run.
5. Knowing when to stop
This may be the hardest thing to do, but remember this: your mental health is far more important than someone feeling rejected. If this new relationship clearly isn’t working for you or makes you feel drained, maybe it’s time to end it. Don’t subject yourself to something that makes you feel like crap just to spare someone else’s feelings. Explain to the person why it isn’t working, and if there’s no way of solving it, there is no shame in walking away.
Remember: never think you’re being selfish for putting yourself first. At times, it’s the best thing to do for your mental health, especially during the beginning phases of a relationship. Hopefully these five tips help your new relationship flourish into something healthy and lasting. Have fun and good luck!
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