When I was a teen I would always weigh myself before I got in the shower, then spend 20-30 minutes bathing and thinking about what I could do to make my body “better”. There were days when I would look in the mirror and feel great about myself, then the second I saw the scale number my self esteem crashed into the treacherous ocean of hormones.
Everyday before school I would sit in my chair in front of my mirror and check if my belly rolls were visible when I sat down, if they were, I would change. Eighth grade was spent wearing hoodies and bootcut jeans (because bootcut jeans were meant to “balance out” wide hips, right?).
High school is when I discovered high waisted jeans, so my everyday outfit consisted of; high-waisted jeans, a crop top, a long cardigan and a scarf or necklace. It was my way of showing off my figure and hiding the parts of my body I didn’t like (while “technically” not breaking the school dress code). The jeans flattened my belly, accentuating the part of my body I actually liked–my waist– and the cardigans covered my stomach rolls when I sat down.
Junior year of high school was the first time in my life I started to feel comfortable with my body and began to wear clothes I actually liked. But the only way I was able to do that was by not stepping on the scale. At sixteen, I realized that the source of my insecurity was coming from a number that had zero effect on my everyday life.
I could write a book about all of the moments in my life that made me feel insecure, but the one constant insecurity came from that bathroom scale.
Now I’m 20 and in college. I still sometimes struggle with body image but I don’t even own a bathroom scale anymore. On those days when I look in the mirror and love what I see, my confidence can’t be ruined by a number.
Youth is wasted on insecurity. Someday I will look back on pictures of myself and wish I appreciated my body for how beautiful it is. Free yourself from thinking about those numbers– they don’t mean anything. Think about the moment you’re in.
Instead of making another new year’s resolution about diet and exercise and finally losing those “extra” pounds, make a resolution to stop letting your weight affect how you enjoy your life.
#Throwoutyourscale