Starting to take the birth control pill can come with a lot of advantages, disadvantages, fears, and questions. One of the most widely anticipated advantages is the ability to skip your period, this is especially true for those who suffer from endometriosis, or very painful periods. Yes, that part of life we all looked forward to, until it actually happened can now be avoided. It sounds like a miracle: no baby, no period, and some people even experience their skin clearing up. But is it a universally positive experience?
That’s a silly question, I know. Nothing is. While Googling the side effects of the birth control pill, or any birth control for that matter, the same phrase pops up: everyone’s experience is different. You might bleed, you might just spot, you could experience nausea, you could break out, you could clear up, or all (or even none, if you’re lucky) of the above.
For so long I did nothing further than web searching about starting birth control, talking to a doctor was intimidating and the negative side effects scared me. Finally, I hoped for the best and tried it out for myself. To avoid the anxiety of going to the doctor’s office I signed up for what was essentially an online prescription, one where I signed a disclaimer and texted the doctor my information. After being asked a few questions, I sent them pictures of my insurance card and soon I received a pretty pink package in the mail. I dug past the stickers and chocolate they sent along with it and found my first pack of birth control pills. That night at 10pm I excitedly took one for the first time. However, the pink packaging did not prepare me for what was going to happen to my body after.
I had read that after the first few months things evened out, so I waited through the mood swings and the nausea and received many more packs for a few more months. I had been so excited to no longer get my period, that I didn’t prepare myself for how it would make me feel aside from that. I waited for the side effects to fade, and they only grew stronger. I cried at the drop of a hat and every negative emotion was amplified. It made me feel sad, and it made me act like a different person. Eating too much, or even a little, of the wrong thing made me throw up in my mouth. I even started to break out.
After throwing up in the bathroom of one of my favorite restaurants, I had to stop and decide if it was really for me. Lots of people take the pill and feel just fine, so what’s wrong with me? Or do we all just not share all of our negative side effects, and why not? The night of the restaurant incident 10pm rolled around and I didn’t take the pill. I understand I could talk to my doctor about a smaller dosage, but going back to even a fraction of the moods it put me through doesn’t feel worth it. I stopped two days ago and am now anxiously awaiting the return of my normal period, and of my normal body and brain.
The entire incident has lead me to wonder why those with my anatomy are forced to choose between unsavory options: a period, with cramps, nausea, and intense pain, or a method of birth control that may bring the same symptoms with it. Sometimes it feels like the least painful route would be a hysterectomy (a bit of a severe solution, I know). It is true that not everyone experiences what I did with the pill, but there are also many that do. It feels like there’s no way out and that the responsibility of birth control is on us. Birth control didn’t make me feel like myself, but when “myself” feels like it’s being torn apart from the inside once a month one thing becomes clear to me: people who get their period simply have to pick their poison.