Okay ladies, it’s crunch time. Valentine’s Day is creeping up and you don’t want to be alone this year. Scratch that, you won’t be alone this year.
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Swipe Right
First things first, whip out your phone and download every dating app you can find. I’m talking Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid. Every person you see is going to be a right swipe. It doesn’t matter how weird they look or how strange they seem. Desperate times call for drastic measures.
2. Get into that workout grind
The only way to get the body of your dreams in a short amount of time is going to the gym every day, at least five times a day, with 100 repetitions on all of the gym equipment. No exceptions. Every time you open your eyes, there should be a poster of your dream body in front of you. During this week, you will have to push yourself harder than you ever have before. A fit body means eating healthy foods and lean meats to keep your body in the best shape of your life. It sounds terrible, but it’s only temporary. By Valentine’s Day, you’ll be splurging on chocolate and any meal you want.
3. You better work!
Work the runway, sweetie! Over the next couple weeks, you’ll be looking fierce and turning heads left and right. Get every baddie outfit you can find out of your closet, and get ready to wear them every day until Valentine’s Day. If you don’t have a baddie outfit, run on over to the mall and spend at least $500 so you can look like the person you can barely afford to be. Don’t forget to wear heels too! If they’re not 4 inches, they’re not tall enough. You might get blisters all over your feet, and it might hurt to walk, but at least you’ll get noticed. Beauty is pain. Think of it this way, everyone who sees you strutting your stuff could be a potential date.
4. CONFIDENCE
Every time you walk somewhere, you need to act like you are a model on a runway. Whenever you stop walking, you need to strike a pose and hold it until you walk again. You have to own it! It will feel a little uncomfortable at first, but the more you practice in the mirror, the more comfortable it will be. Who knows you might get a date and a modeling career by Valentine’s Day.
5. Be cool
The best way to be cool is to not try too hard to be cool. When people try too hard to be cool, other people see right through them. While trying to be cool, focus on perfecting how you talk, how you act, what you do, etc. If people don’t see you as the relatable, cool person who doesn’t have to try to be cool, you will have some work to do. You need to act so cool that people feel inspired by being near you. The easiest way to do this is to wear all black and stare into the distance like you’re caught up in deep thought. Instead of saying things to make you sound cool, try to ooze coolness.
These tips are sure to get you a man by Valentine’s Day. You may have a small window, but you still have plenty of time!