At the beginning of my freshman year of college, I finally accepted that I had a mental health problem. This was very hard for me because I have friends and family who have suffered due to their own mental health illnesses. It had always been easier to ignore my feelings and move on with my day. However, I knew that I didn’t want this to be a lifetime struggle. Here’s what happened to me after I finally admitted I had had a problem and wanted to change.
- I became very depressed.
-
Once I admitted to myself that I needed help with my anxiety and body image issues, I became very depressed about my current situation. I was upset that I had problems that no one else seemed to have and that I couldn’t just fix them myself. I was powerless and unhappy with who I was. The whole situation was almost worse than ignoring the issues I already had.
- The world kept moving.
-
Even though I was in a rough place, the world did not stop for me. I still had to get up, go to class, and try to keep the social life I had. It was a struggle trying to act like I was ok, and there were days where I thought I couldn’t keep going. All I wanted to do was cry and lay in bed. I was miserable and felt very alone.
- I began talking to certain people.
-
I wasn’t quite ready to seek professional help regarding my mental health, but I did seek out trustworthy people to talk to about my situation. I found family members and friends who I trusted and began to speak with them about what had bothered me for all those years. At first, it was hard, and I continued to feel powerless. But as I found people who listened and didn’t judge me, I became more comfortable with sharing my feelings.
- I learned that I am not the only one with insecurities and anxiety.
-
As I talked and talked, I came into contact with people who shared the same feelings as me. I always felt like I was the only one with my specific feelings, but I learned that I wasn’t alone in how I felt, thought, or acted. I slowly began to feel less alone, and as I found these people, I began to feel better after our discussions. For small moments I felt empowered.
- I also learned that not everyone is great to talk to.
-
There are some people you will try to talk to that aren’t the best listeners. I came to a quick realization that not all of my friends or family members are easy to talk to about my mental health. They would often try to offer unhelpful advice or simply tell me to get over it and that I don’t have issues. I understood that they meant well, but I learned that some people aren’t the best to talk to. I found that the best people to talk to about mental health are those who simply listened.
- I didn’t immediately get better.
-
I would like to end the article here by saying that talking it out allowed me to overcome all of my anxiety and insecurities. Unfortunately, even though I was able to talk to some close friends and family about my situation, not much changed within me. I still felt anxious and obsessed with my body image. At points, talking allowed me to “release some pressure,” but the thoughts always came back shortly after.
- Things I used to love began to help me feel better.
-
During what you can consider my “darkest time,” I lost interest in the things I loved the most. Once I began the process of trying to get better, the things I used to love became tools to help me cope with my feelings. Reading, drawing, and painting were once my most favorite hobbies, but I lost interest as my mental health really declined. Throughout the beginning of my process, I began to rekindle my passion, and it became a great stress and anxiety reliever.
- I decided to seek professional help.
-
After a month, I took another step by seeking out professional help to tackle my issues. This was a terrifying experience because I have never felt comfortable with doctors or strangers, especially when it comes to talking about very personal things. I spoke to two different specialists before finding the person I am with now. Each time I spoke to a specialist privately, I felt like I had a stronger and stronger hold on my situation. I began to develop a sense of hope that I could overcome the issues I had been dealing with for most of my life.
- I began to have good days and bad days.
-
The more steps I took and the more talks I had, the more I began to have what I consider “good days.” There were times when I felt confident and didn’t struggle to get through the day. There were “bad days” where I felt like I went right back to the way I was a few months before, but my biggest lesson has been to take everything one day at a time.
- I realized this was going to be a long process.
-
The hardest part for me to understand is that mental health is not something that can improve in a day. As of right now, I am not what you might consider “cured.” I have a long way to go, and that is okay. It is important to keep in mind that everyone’s situation is different, and mental health is a very unique topic. Everyone is affected in different ways, and what happened to me the past couple of months will not happen to everyone. What is important is that if you are struggling, be sure to find someone you can trust to help you take steps to become healthier and happier. Don’t make temporary feelings turn into a lifetime struggle.
October 6th through 12th is Mental Health Awareness Week. While some anxiety and sadness can occur in students in college, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America reports that 75% of lifetime mental illness cases develop by age twenty-four. The ADAA also stresses that anxiety is a very treatable condition even though many Americans suffering don’t seek help. With this in mind, it is important to know when you may need to see a specialist and seek treatment to avoid severe cases of anxiety and other mental health illnesses.