We were best friends. You were the person I told everything to and could always count on. Out of nowhere, you left my life with a string of angry text messages, confusing explanations, and no way to contact you.
During our freshman year, I met you and immediately believed you would be one of my lifelong best friends. We were both out–of–state students looking to make friends, and we clicked instantly. We saw each other every day and went on fun adventures whenever we could. You saw me at my absolute worst and showed me love and kindness anyways. Through you, I met another girl, who soon became another close friend. The three of us became a little family that looked out for each other. During the summer after freshman year, I learned that you would be transferring to another school that was a couple of states closer to home, and our other friend would be at Rosen full-time. I was happy for both of you, but it was hard to process not having my two best friends close to me.
You came to visit to celebrate your birthday before school started back up. I couldn’t join you and our friend until the last day of your trip. Things seemed off between the three of us, but I tried to ignore it the best I could. I still wish I hadn’t ignored it…
A month later I messaged you “hi,” because I had a feeling you needed to talk. You responded saying how I had upset you with my terribleness at texting, and how you were coming to Orlando that weekend but didn’t think to tell me. I felt like I had been slapped in the face. Yes, I am bad with texting, but so are you — that had never seemed to be an issue. Things just escalated and got so much worse as the day went on.
By the end of the day, I learned how toxic you viewed our relationship as and how — in your words — our friendship was “detrimental” to you. I made everything worse by reaching out to our other friend, only to learn she believed the same things. I never thought of myself as someone who could make the people I care about feel so bad about themselves.
You both left my life a year ago and honestly, it was hard coming to terms with how everything went down. Y’all cut off all contact with me, left me with a horrible image of myself and our friendships, and still remain friends with each other as if nothing happened. It’s been a year of insecurities, pain and many tears.
I am so thankful, though, for what happened between us. I learned a lot about myself and my relationships. I am controlling and judgmental and our friendship was definitely toxic. I feel like I am better now because I have acknowledged my shortcomings and will hopefully never have a friendship breakup like ours again. I hope you are living your best life and are surrounded by a group of people who love and cherish you. Thank you for entering — and leaving — my life. You taught me so much about myself, and I am forever grateful for all of the memories — both good and bad.