Confrontation is a problem that many people avoid rather than deal with, when, it is the easy way out. But without confrontation it is hard to make any progress with the problem at hand, so how do you push past the lack of comfort?
Not all confrontation has to be thought of as negative and it can benefit you. Healthy confrontation allows you to overcome a problem without burning bridges. For example, last year while working for a large sporting industry I learned that there was a wage gap between me and my male counterparts, I was being paid a dollar less an hour. Is that the tea? I think so.
Before you confront the issue, take the time to evaluate the issue. When I learned about the difference of pay, I was upset and hurt. I worked after school almost every day till close and on the weekends, I would work double shifts due to other employees choosing not to come in. Why was I making less than the newly hired males after working there for several months? These questions were stirring in my head, so I chose to ask my female coworkers how much they made. Not to my surprise, they made the same as I did. The next step I took was changing my point of view to my employer’s perspective to try to understand their reasoning. After evaluating the situation, considering another point of view, and addressing my faults as an employee; I was ready to confront the issue head on.
After a close evaluation of the problem, I needed to figure out how to go about bringing up the issue to my managers, but how? I needed to form a clear argument, explain my position, and why the issue needs to be fixed. I chose a logical approach over an emotional one because it is much easier to dismiss feelings than facts. This was extremely difficult to do, I was angry, nervous, and generally disappointed. I chose to channel that energy into forming a strong argument to bring to my boss, and I cannot stress enough how uncomfortable it was to go about this process, but something had to be done.
I was riddled with anxiety when going into the meeting, I had gone over my argument several times but bringing it to my boss’s attention pushed me way out of my comfort zone. I went into the meeting anyway, stated my argument, and asked what will be done to fix it. I left the meeting with a raise; major win because my work was finally appreciated and not to mention I felt empowered knowing I stood up for what I believed in and left with a positive outcome.
In the long run confrontation makes you a stronger person and teaches you to respect yourself enough to speak out when something is wrong. Controversy does not have to be hurtful or cruel in order to solve a problem but can be an important step to overcome a problem. For me it was time to celebrate my victory. So, the next time you come face to face with confrontation ask yourself, are you going to let life control you or will you control your life?