The words flow out easily. Maybe you’ve said them a thousand times. Maybe all of the sudden you couldn’t help it and the words are just bursting out because you haven’t quite been able to move past what you are now depicting in front of others.
After a minute you notice that you might still be talking but no one is really listening anymore. They simply sit, right in front of you, staring, wide-eyed, hearing every word you say or at least pretending to, but not really registering it.
When you reach the end their reaction isn’t what you expected. Maybe you laugh and pass it off as another story but they don’t, trying to seem natural and relaxed. In reality, you’re afraid you’ve said too much and that they no longer see you as they did. The people in front of you seem concerned, confused. Scared, even. Essentially, unsure how to react to what they just heard. They might even laugh awkwardly.
Maybe they can’t relate. Or maybe they just really really don’t want to. Some might even wish they never even asked.
To you, it is part of the story of your life. It is part of you are. But maybe they are feeling a bit like Gaston, wondering why on earth you now have this story, and where on earth are those pictures? They make everything easier to understand.
Scary things happen to everyone. There are a lot of scary things in this world and often, we have no control over them. Everyday we wake not knowing exactly how our day will go or how we will come out the other end. Will we be okay? Will everything be fine? Or will something happen? Will we need time to mend and move on?
Drama is entertainment. It catches the eye, or more often, the ear. We won’t always be able to stay out of it, even when we swear, cross our heart and hope to die, we will try. It becomes inevitable. But drama can grow into something much uglier and affect a lot of things.
But one of the best things about being human is our undeniable ability to get back on our feet when it matters most.
We read about tragedy all over the world. We see and hear horrors that we can hardly believe. But what about the people forced to live through these things? Those who have lost loved ones, been through a time they weren’t sure they would see the end of, or found themselves in the middle of their worst nightmare? What happens when we become one of those people?
Sometimes it is hard to believe what we have experienced has actually happened. Life feels like a scene from a movie sometimes. One after another, things seem to fall apart. The dramatic turn of events in a life that maybe was going well feels like the perfect plot of a Nicholas Sparks book or maybe even a Stephen King novel.
Life gets strange and we get scared. But that’s okay too.
Maybe you’re someone who knows exactly why you scare people or maybe you know you could scare people but you don’t ever say the words that would change the way people see you.
I have experienced quite a lot and I have borne witness to things, good and bad, big and small, significant and insignificant. This is something that everyone goes through no matter who they are.
For me, these experiences, these memories are normal. They are passing moments of my life I shared with others. Some I reminisce over, others I dread the odd moment when I will remember them. Over the years, things have been good and bad, but were also constantly changing.
I, like many others, have learned to deal with all that life has decided to throw my way. Whether I handle it emotionally or in a cut-off manner, I have learned to juggle everything and move forward, no matter how long it takes. Learning to recognize and accept that these things did indeed happen is the first step to moving forward.
At this point, there is nothing you can do but ignore the way other people might see you. One of the many mantras of modern-day society is to not care about what others think and to be exactly who you are.
It may be hard sometimes but the dark or unpleasant little bits of our past are part of what defines us, whether we like it or not. Owning these parts of ourselves feels impossible at times but mistakes have been made and will continue to be made. We cannot change the past but we can use it to be ready for the future.
I definitely scare people sometimes. I was brought up all over the world and this regularly freaks the average American out. My experiences are strange and the things I understand are not often things people can easily relate to.
I am better aware of things in this world and I find it easier to relate to differences, rather than someone who is the same as me. This, among other things, pushes people away and gives them reason to retreat to their comfort zone. But instead of hiding whatever it is that you see in yourself that you don’t want to share with others, own it with everything you have.
If you think it will scare someone, you’re probably right. But in the end that is okay because the less you hide it, the more you can grow past it and eventually, find the people who won’t run from it and will stand next to you and ask every odd question that comes to mind.
Confidence in ourselves is something much easier said than done, there is no doubt about that, but one day, whether it is tomorrow or in twenty years, we will wish we hadn’t been scared. We will wish we hadn’t been afraid because if we weren’t afraid then we could have gained so much just by being free and open with ourselves, let alone others.
Sometimes we believe that by being open we might push people away or lose them. But in truth, everyone has a “scary story” and learning to share them is part of life. Not everyone will receive it well the first time around and maybe they will act like they can’t relate.
Don’t give up, though. Bad things happen and just because they are scary doesn’t mean we have to always be scared of them. And just because someone acts like they can’t relate, doesn’t mean there isn’t something more they have to say. They just might not be ready yet.
Being able to walk around everyday feeling good about the lessons we have learned through life and who it has helped us become is a luxury that everyone deserves.
There are so many around the world who may never get the chance to openly feel freedom in themselves because of their religion, political affiliation, gender, sex and much more. But if they are ever going to have a chance then those of us who have the chance to be free and are simply afraid, need to lead the way.
Being who you are is a gift to yourself and everyone else around you.
All gifs sourced from Giphy.com