The topic of mental health care has been on the rise in recent years. With celebrities being candid about their struggles on social media, it has made it easier for others to talk about their own journey. Before you read this article, I want to warn you that I do talk about my own mental health journey. If you are not in a good headspace to read this right now, I would advise you to click out of it. I don’t talk about anything traumatizing, but if you are battling anything right now, it is more important to take care of yourself first before you read about my own self-care journey.
Ever since I was younger, I always remember being independent and being a positive person. About two years ago though, I started to notice that I had symptoms of depression and anxiety. I began to have panic attacks, I constantly over thought about irrational things, I started to feel hopeless and I had frequent mood swings. Due to my perfectionist streak, getting a little nervous about things not going my way was not new to me. However, I started to get anxious about myself. I thought, “What if I’m not good enough?” and, “What if nobody likes me?” Never in my life had I thought about these things. I realized that while I like to be independent and figure things out on my own, these thoughts and symptoms happened way too often for me to just shrug them off. I needed professional help.
After I realized I needed help, I went to the doctor and had them prescribe me SSRIs. SSRI stands for Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor. What this basically means is that my medicine increases the level of serotonin in my brain. Serotonin is the neurotransmitter in the brain that makes us feel good. I am not going to share the name of my medicine because this medicine will not work for everyone. Once I started this medicine, it made me feel better, but it doesn’t solve everything.
Even though I take anti-depressants, there are still high and low periods of my life. This time period has been exceptionally low. Never in my college career have I felt so sad, hopeless or lonely. My best friends are three hours away from me, my boyfriend lives 900 miles away and besides my job, I don’t have that many things that occupy my time. Most of the time, this leaves me alone with my thoughts. Sometimes it’s very uncomfortable, but it’s made me realize that I need therapy. Therapy has also been one of those taboo things for me. It’s always been impossible to ask for help. I can be there for others but I feel weird if anyone is there for me. But I know I need it.
Today, Tuesday, Feb. 25, I have a therapy appointment scheduled for myself. I am nervous to go, but I know I need help. I guess the whole point of this article is to tell you to please, please, please do not be reluctant to do whatever you need to do to better your mental health. Talk with a professional, develop healthy coping mechanisms and heal. If you’re reading this and have struggled or are struggling with your mental health, know that I am so proud of you for being here. I know life is hard, but it really does get better, no matter how cliche that is. If you made it to the end of this article, thank you for reading my story. I hope sharing my mental health journey encourages some of you to take care of yourselves. It took a long time to realize I needed help, but maybe after reading this, it will inspire you to get the help you need. I wish you the best.
If you or anyone you know is dealing with suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.