For many people, going to college after being in a relationship in high school could mean two things, either breaking up with that boyfriend and starting all over again, or attempting to try long distance as many couples that went to high school together usually do not end up at the same college. For myself, however, neither of those options worked, and I ended up going to the same college as my boyfriend from high school, not because I couldn’t make decisions for myself (which many criticized me for), but because Hofstra is an amazing school that is a perfect distance from my house, and was a great option for me. It just so happened that that was the case for my boyfriend too. So, all of this means that I have been with this man for a veryyy long time at this point, and here is how I am navigating my long-term relationship with him.
My boyfriend and I, his name is Aidan, met when I was a junior and he was a senior in high school. I have told the story countless times to everyone who would listen to how it happened, and the gist is that he needed a date to prom and I wanted to go so a friend set us up together. The rest is history, and here we are a year and eight months later. By the time I was introduced to Aidan around April of 2018, he had already committed to being a commuter student at Hofstra University with a major in mechanical engineering. At this point in time I had no desire of going to Hofstra and honestly no desire to start dating a senior who was starting a new chapter of his life. However, as we can see, both of those things didn’t go as I had planned!
His Senior Prom (and our first kiss): May 31, 2018
Aidan and I officially started dating on June 28 of 2018 which was exactly two months before he started college. I was starting my senior year of high school, and with Aidan having a huge involvement with our Robotics team, it felt as if we were still in a high school relationship, because my friends were his friends, we would go out after school, and he would come with me to all my senior events, the normal things. So, when I decided I was going to end up living and going to college at Hofstra University, I realized that our relationship was going to shift courses a little bit because now we were both college kids in a college relationship, at the same school. The summer before I entered college and the first month or two was a rough adjustment for us as I tried to make new friends, but we figured out how to make our relationship work in this new setting.
My Senior Prom: May 30, 2019
Long distance relationships in college are no doubt a hard thing to endure, but what no one realizes is that continuing your relationship in college is hard regardless of the space between people. And I found it hard navigating our problems without feeling selfish because I never really had to go through long periods of time without him. Each relationship, however, is unique in its own way, and sometimes having Aidan around constantly was challenging because I wanted to be able to make new friends and focus on classes. This resulted in my neglect of our relationship more than I care to admit. Another challenge was distinguishing that at-home Aidan was different than college; there are responsibilities that one has at home that are different in college, and I found myself having issues realizing that fact. Regardless of any issues that we have had, we continually make our relationship work in a way that is right for us through communication and trusting each other, which is crucial to any relationship.
Navigating long term relationships is always a challenge, especially when each individual is going through changes in their own lives and as a team. As long as you keep being honest with each other as well as yourself and your own needs, any relationship can withstand any adjustment, just as mine did during this huge jump into a new chapter in both of our lives.