When I first started college, I woke up and did my makeup and hair for classes, walked there, and had a great time learning. Now, I wake up two minutes before my Zoom lecture and record it to not watch later. This not only is hurting my academic career; it is hurting me mentally because I know I am doing badly. I am exhausted from how hard this semester is.
Do you feel like doing something so good and know it needs to be done but have no motivation to do it? That’s how I feel all of the time. A shower, classwork, socializing, getting up in the morning, cleaning my room, being active, going to work. All are a hassle anymore. A lot of it has to do with this stupid pandemic. I cannot tell you how hard this has been for me. I’m sure you can relate as a college student that this by far has been the hardest semester yet.
I think every day that I am going to get up at 7 a.m., go to class, get ready for the day, go for a walk, and get my work done. I end up waking up at 1 p.m. and staying in my PJs all day. On top of this my 21 st birthday is in four days. A five-letter word is ruining it though- COVID. My grandma will not see me, nobody wants to gather, nothing is open and you can’t sit in groups at places. This is what breaks my heart.
The holidays are coming and this is my favorite time of year. I have lost so much because of this and now I feel like we may never get out of this and go back to normal. I don’t know how much more of the isolation I can take. The hard classwork from non-understanding professors. The nights by myself. The not taking care of myself because what’s the point. I’m still trying to figure out how but if I find the key I’ll let you know. Until then I know I can get through this, it is just so, so hard.