My parents always said that their biggest regret in high school was not spending enough time with their family. As a child, I always kept this statement in mind and would design my daily schedules in order to maximize the time I had with them. Everyone in my family lives near each other — I cannot go four days without seeing them, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Family dinners on Sunday, random lunch outings with grandparents, and bonfires with cousins were the norm until I enrolled in a college preparatory for my high school years. The belief was that this rigorous experience would prepare me for a smooth transition to college, and albeit the fact that my institution lived up to its name, I spent 12 hours of my day learning, playing sports, or attending play rehearsal, nine hours after for homework and studies, and allocated for myself three hours of sleep.
Looking back, I don’t know how I did it for four years — not attending the school, but how I had forsaken my promise of prioritizing my family. Even in quarantine and the summer, school very much took up a large portion of my day. Come time for college move-in, a week before Michigan State was to open its doors to an influx of old and new faces alike, an email was sent to the student body to notify that this semester was virtual.
Not even a moment after viewing the decision, I received a deluge of texts on my phone from friends also attending MSU, along with angry social media posts and calls filled with tears on how one of the best four years of our lives was lost to a pandemic. Understandably so, many of us can attest to the fact that our elders have described this chapter of our lives as one of, if not the best, parts. In addition, my parents were crushed — after years of telling their daughter about their college antics and memories, they would not have the chance to move their firstborn into a cramped dorm and make surprise visits to campus. In contrast, I was overwhelmed with joy. Out of excitement, I began to cheer and dance around my room, blasting my favorite music. To me, a semester at home meant more time with the people I love, and for a year where I was snubbed of my final high school moments and the summer, this was the best news. But deep down, a semester simply wasn’t enough. So when MSU released the option of staying at home for the second semester, I once again rejoiced.
So why am I truly elated to stay back, and what am I missing out on?
In these three months (and counting) with living at home, I have not created more memories with my family, but I have gotten to know them better and learn more about each individual than I have in my eighteen years of knowing them. Mornings where I would initially picture myself eating in a dining hall on campus are replaced with spontaneous mother-daughter brunch outings, followed with profound conversations. For the first time in nearly a decade, I am able to enjoy nights with my family where we sit near the fireplace watching old home videos or shooting pool in the basement. To me, these are the moments that are worth treasuring, and they are far more meaningful than attending a crowded frat party reeking of booze and sweat.
I’ve recognized that I’m not getting any younger. I’ll miss these days, moments, and faces when I am of old age. My time here is finite, and although I’m 18 years old, I know the people who will constantly have my back through thick and thin, deliver endless support, and shower unconditional love is my family. I have three more years to curate an amazing support system in college and make lifelong friendships. But when this chapter of my life has closed, it will be my family that is still there every step of the way.