I have a healthy relationship and amazing roommates/friends, and to be fair, I am a sucker for the hopeless romantic holidays, the small gestures of love and the chocolate covered strawberries. That is, until I got a text in a group chat of eight of my closest girlfriends who were planning a weekend long skiing trip in Utah. Here is the kicker: it is the same weekend as Valentine’s Day, the first Valentine’s Day I would be spending with my boyfriend. The excitement of going skiing and having a long lasting senior year of college memory and the anxiety of telling my boyfriend to move our weekend plans came over me. I said yes to the trip, then gave him the call explaining the situation. He was disappointed and rightfully so (he would completely deny this by the way), but he knows how important my friends are to me and how I should not skip out on this opportunity. We have all had an unconventional year, and I personally had a lot of great trips planned my last year of college with all the people I love, but unfortunately plans were canceled and adjusted due to the pandemic. I made the right decision to spend the little time I have left with my people doing something other than movie nights in the apartment or watching the sunset once a week, and I am lucky enough to have a boyfriend who understands that.
To be honest, it is all about priorities and taking advantage of the unplanned, unpredictable things going on around. My friends and my boyfriend are two very high priorities for me, but they are the first priority at different times. It is beneficial for everyone, single or not, to make sure your priorities and boundaries are straight with the people around you so you do not feel tied down or obligated to others. Also, why not take advantage of a long weekend getaway with the people who essentially shaped your college experience and helped you grow into someone you are proud of. The same way Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate the love you and your significant other have each other, there are times to do the same for the little family you build at college. On another note, the affection and safety you feel with your significant other on February 14th should persist 365 days a year, not just one day.
I know what some of you may be thinking. What about your boyfriend though? The truth is me and him have an open line of communication and it only shows its benefits during times of priority battles, but also whenever we have a disagreement or get annoyed with each other. Open communication is the key to any healthy relationship, but it takes a lot of effort; although it is the type of effort that is fully worth it. Because of how secure I feel in our relationship, I felt like it was okay to ask him how he felt about me leaving this Valentine’s Day and asked him to be honest with me. He was supportive of the trip and in return, we decided to go on date night a few nights earlier. In reality, I just want to spend time with him, and it doesn’t have to be ont the day of a specific holiday.
These small situations and sacrifices work themselves out as long as everyone involved is on the same page. There should be limitations to everything, but limitations naturally create balance between priorities, such as significant other and friends in this scenario. Regardless, I hope your Valentine’s Day this year is filled with love (doesn’t necessarily have to be from a significant other) and a reminder that the love you share with the people around you isn’t limited to just one day of the year.