Over the years, I’ve experienced many different types of change. I’ve never liked change, but I’ve learned that it’s inevitable. Losing someone to change is probably the most painful thing that can happen. Not because they’re gone, but because they’re different. At least from my experience, they are still there physically, but you are left with pieces of who they used to be and who they have become.Â
Change.
The dictionary definition of change is to alter or modify.
What the dictionary doesn’t tell you is the catastrophic effects that one alteration or modification can have. The feeling of watching someone you love change is a feeling that is hard to describe.Â
There is something bittersweet about looking back on the past. Sometimes we miss people, not because they are completely out of our lives, but because we miss certain parts of the relationship we once had with them. We miss the way things felt, the comfort of knowing someone so well, and the little moments that we probably didn’t appreciate enough at the time. It’s not necessarily that we want everything to go back to the way it was. Sometimes we just wish we could experience those feelings again. It’s hard to accept that even the people we love most are constantly growing and changing. We change, too, and sometimes those changes bring us closer together. Other times, they create distance that neither person ever intended.
Maybe that’s why change can feel so difficult. It’s not always about losing something completely. Sometimes it’s about learning to accept that something can still be there, just not in the way you remember it. You can appreciate who someone is today while still missing the way things once were. I think there’s something really human about that. We hold onto memories because they mean something to us, and just because time moves forward doesn’t mean those moments become any less important.
I’ve never liked change.Â
I don’t think I ever will. I think I’ll always wish certain things could stay the same a little longer and that life didn’t have to feel so different sometimes. But I also know that change is something we can’t avoid. People grow, and life takes unexpected turns. Sometimes it’s difficult to understand why things have to change. I guess I’m learning that not every change has to be something we immediately understand. Sometimes we just have to accept that life looks different than we expected and find a way to be okay with that.