This article’s release aligns with my 21st birthday. As an avid journaler, I thought writing a reflective article would fit this milestone. As such, I came up with some major themes and realizations I learned over the past year. Here is what I learned from being 20.
To Be Kinder to OthersÂ
I learned more about myself through my relationships, and that there is always room to be kinder. This past year, I not only discovered the qualities you need to maintain strong relationships, but also how good life can be and how impactful the little things are. Humans are generally good people, and people like to be kind;it’s easier. This includes what people tend to think of others. Like many people, I often find myself ruminating on what others think of me. Ultimately, I learned it is not a kind way to think about people, and it’s important to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s not bad to assume people are kind more often than not.
There Is No Being “Almost Perfect”
I spent so much time in my teenage years trying to get as close to perfect as I could. I knew no one could be totally perfect, but surely certain people are much closer than others? As I reflect on this past year, I found I am much less obsessed with the idea of perfection. I am giving myself more grace for making mistakes and allowing myself the space to feel things that might be uncomfortable. Being jealous or angry does not make me a bad person. In fact, I don’t believe that people can be categorized as solely “good” or “bad”. I think the only fair way to judge people is by their choices, and everyone makes good and bad choices at times. Therefore, no one is truly good or truly bad; they only make more good choices than bad.
To Slow DownÂ
I used to feel like I was constantly waiting for life to begin: some big event or milestone would split my life into before and after, and suddenly everything would make sense. I learned that living isn’t about big moments. While these “big moments” can have huge impacts, you only have so many. Instead, life is generally made up of much smaller things: catching buses, writing papers, or studying with friends. They may feel normal and mundane, but that’s my life. These are the memories I look back on. So instead of constantly dreaming about what could be, I focus more on what is and live in these tiny moments.
This was such an interesting article to write. Before I started, I didn’t think I had changed much over this past year. But now, upon reflection, I feel like an entirely different person. This is why reflection is so important. Without it, you will wake up one day and realize you have no idea how you got to where you are.