Edited by: Zaineb Sarang
The other day, while cleaning up my room I stumbled across my old journal. Immediately upon flipping the cover open, it felt like I was unlocking a time capsule of a past state of my mind; pages filled with raw reflections from a season where I kept replaying old doubts and felt so unsure of what lay ahead.
At the time, I was fresh off a breakup and felt truly stumped about what I wanted to do with my life. My mind felt like a battlefield caught in a never ending tug-of-war between where I’d been and where I was going. Reading through those pages, I could instantly recall the exact weight in my chest and the lingering uncertainty that haunted my every move. I was so stubborn about wanting to control the outcome of my future I was paralyzed by the fear that if I didn’t have everything figured out right now, then there would be no way to recover. It felt like so many things were being thrown at me all at once, leaving me to wonder if I was strong enough to figure myself out.
It wasn’t until I shifted my perspective that everything changed. I realized just how precious and alive you feel when you choose to treat the present as a gift rather than a waiting room.
When we get hung up on past mistakes, endlessly hyperfixating on, “Why did I do that?” or “Why didn’t things go differently?” our minds start tricking us. We let old doubts distort who we are today projecting past anxieties onto a future that hasn’t even happened yet. In doing so, we fall into this trap of believing that where we’ve been dictates where we’re going. It builds an overwhelming, unnecessary layer of worry that pulls us entirely out of the moment. We become so consumed with trying to predict what happens next that we forget to stop and look around to experience what is happening right now.
Looking back a year later at that first entry, reading the thoughts of someone who was stuck in her head, I had a sudden epiphany of growth. The person reading those pages today is a year wiser and standing on the other side of that noise. It brings a quiet sense of happiness to see how much clarity time eventually gives us.
Ultimately, shifting our perspective is what turns that internal chaos into clarity. It’s about realizing that while we can’t change external circumstances, we have full power over how we react to them. It’s a lesson my mom used to drill into me as a kid, long before it ever actually clicked. “You can’t control the situation or how other people act. You can only control your own feelings and how you react.”
And as a kid, that advice felt almost silly and hard to grasp because self-regulation doesn’t come naturally when you’re young. But sitting with my journal a year after navigating all that uncertainty, her words finally made sense. We don’t have to carry the exhausting pressure of mapping out the entire journey; we only need to focus on taking the very next step. The only thing truly within our power is how we choose to respond to the life happening right now.
Differentiating yourself from your past self can feel intimidating. Letting go of old fears takes intentional practice. The doubts you had back then and the what-ifs you have about tomorrow don’t define the person standing here today. Your past isn’t a reflection of your worth, and it certainly doesn’t write your future.
What defines you is how you live in this exact second. When you stop trying to predict the unpredictable, you finally give yourself permission to unwrap the present for what it is: a gift. Grounding yourself in the present makes everything shift. It feels like standing on a quiet beach during golden hour, with the sun beaming down and warming every part of you, reminding you that you are right where you’re supposed to be.