Content Warning: Mentions of sexual assault and harassment.
I was scrolling on Instagram recently when I saw a post referencing the Cornell 7 case that said, “Every single woman you know has a story about sexual violence/harassment.” We live in a time when we are so desensitized to the everyday violence committed by men, whether that’s suffering at the hands of them or feeling fear and discomfort from their words. Every woman I know has a story, and those numbers only rise higher when the clocks go back.
A common question that arises among my friend group is, “What would you do if all men disappeared for a day?” I’ve found that the most common answer is, “I would go for a walk at night.” In reality, walking home at night as a woman is highly discouraged, and for good reason. In a survey conducted by LogicMark, 67% of women marked walking alone at night as their greatest fear. Something that men wouldn’t even have a second thought about is the biggest cause of fear for so many women.
On Halloween night, I was standing alone waiting for the bus. During this time, multiple groups of girls approached me asking if I was okay. While waiting for the bus, I was also catcalled. The support I have received from women I don’t even know has given me hope that other women walking alone won’t go without help if they need it. Men hold so much pride in being the protectors, but I have received more protection from other women in the past three semesters of college than I have from men in my entire life. We have to learn to protect ourselves and others from the very moment we step into society. From hearing “boys will be boys” in elementary school, to the firetruck game in middle school, sexual violence has been normalized in our heads from the very beginning. Part of that comes with the known fact that you should stay inside after the sun goes down, which becomes difficult and inconvenient when the clocks go back.
I had lived in Germany for five years before coming to college. I knew the city like the back of my hand. I can walk the route to my favorite food places in my head. As much as you know and contribute to a city, you still won’t be able to walk alone in it at night. I had only been alone in that city a few times, and only for a couple minutes each time. Every time, without fail, I was approached disrespectfully. This led me to fear going anywhere alone, and I hated feeling so dependent on others just to enjoy an outing.
I have been called stupid countless times for giving men the benefit of the doubt after they have revealed time and time again that it’s no use to trust them. But I don’t think I’m stupid for believing that the world is kind. I think the world is stupid for making kindness so hard to believe in.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a solution or answer to this problem. We could abolish daylight savings, or we could instill more safety measures in the streets. But the truth is that the problem is systematic, and the fundamental relationship between the genders has to change for this problem to stop. What we can do now is look out for other women. If you see a woman alone at night, make sure she’s okay. Offer to walk her to her next location. Always stick with a friend and share your locations with each other. Progress is progress even if it’s slow, and while we wait for the world to catch up, we can do what we can to make it safer for each other.