Why does Gen Z look down on people when they’re alone? If you see someone eating by themselves, posting “cringy” photos on Instagram, going to the movies by themselves…, there’s always someone who’s going to draw attention to it as if it’s embarrassing. Personally, I find it embarrassing if you can’t spend time alone.Â
If you feel the need to do everything with someone else or document everything you do for others to see, there’s a different issue. The obsession with curating the perfect aesthetic Instagram posts is getting out of hand. You have 20 photos to show off how many friends you have, the cool things you do, the nice clothes you wear, and the places you go. Don’t get me wrong, I love to put some effort into my posts too and think about how much fun I had taking those pics. But for me it’s about bonding with my friends, not showing off. What I need is my alone time.
 I bounce between a few friend groups here at college plus my best friends in my hometown. Each group brings out a different side of me. And as much as I love all my friends, if I’m going to have energy and patience when I’m with them, they need to give me the space to charge my social battery. And the longer I spend socializing, the longer it takes to recharge. If I go to lunch with friends, maybe just studying by myself with a solid playlist is enough to bounce back. But if we spend a day in NYC, I’m going to go home, take a long hot shower, and watch a movie by myself and not talk to anyone. I call it my nonverbal time.Â
Beyond recharging, I like to be alone. After a long day of classes and studying, sometimes I’ll go on a solo date to a coffee shop. I’ll get a fun drink and read a book for a while. I’ll take myself to lunch on the weekend if I’ve got nothing to do. There is nothing I love more than a Sunday afternoon trip to Trader Joe’s. Headphones on, music blasting, picking out all my favorite foods (and maybe a sweet treat)… I’m telling you, it’s actually so fun. To top it all off, I’ll buy myself some flowers and make an arrangement when I get home. I enjoy spending time alone either planning out my week or letting my spontaneity get the better of me. And I don’t need to make it aesthetically pleasing. I don’t need to make it Pinterest worthy for it to be okay.Â
There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. But you need to be independent, not codependent. Spend time by yourself for yourself. Having your own routine, interests, and habits is so important for personal growth. Plus, all your relationships will benefit from it. Knowing when to spend time together and when it’s okay to take a bit of time to yourself. Whether romantic, platonic, or familial, each type of relationship requires you to be self-sufficient. If you’re not good with yourself, you won’t be good with anyone else.