If you spend any time on the internet, especially on TikTok, you know that the comment sections are like a war zone. The shortest video can generate irascible discourse, and a string of replies, that are filled with a replete of insults. People are angry. They’re ticked off by how others live their lives, voice their opinions, or even be comfortable in their own skin, and that’s terrifying.
Expressing hate has become so natural online. Sure, controversy is bound to spark, but when did it ever become so aggressive? Nowadays, people fight over everything—politics, religion, pop culture, you name it. Conversations and respectful debates have long since been off the table. It’s a never-ending brawl where only one opinion can be triumphant.
What really piqued my interest, and drove me to write this article, was the behavior that I encountered toward women on the internet, especially, those who do not fit the cookie-cutter beauty standards. To avoid hostile comments, you have to be perfect under a very specific lens. I’ve witnessed this perpetually when it comes to plus-sized women. The comments under videos of beautiful girls simply doing their makeup or dressing up are disgusting. Most of these comments tend to come with an air of humor. They’re “witty” names and snark jabs about the creator’s appearance; all laced with an obvious sense of superiority. It reeks of high-school bullies who think being patronizing is funny. It’s unfathomable to me how they are unable to sympathize with the humiliation their comments induce.
Before the internet became so prominent in our lives, it was common knowledge that actions have consequences. One may have free will to behave ludicrously, but chances are they’ll be put in their place in a not-so-nice manner. If you see something, or someone, you dislike, you might think something of it, but, eventually, you just keep walking.
The online persona, however, can be as public or private as they want it to be. In theory, that’s great, but anonymity has deprived many of the moral restraint they apply to real-life interactions. When names and faces are hidden, there is no shame or punishment linked to the actions. There is no sense of accountability when cruel words are spoken.
The internet didn’t only take participants’ accountability; there’s also a lack of social cues, due to conversations that are being held strictly through text. According to a study by the University of Texas, “The 55/38/7 formula describes how much of communication is nonverbal: 55% through body language, 38% through tone of voice, and only 7% through spoken words.” That means that only 7% of what we understand when communicating is based on the actual words we use; the rest is purely on what we see and hear. That’s to show that one person may perceive a neutral opinion as an attack and reply crudely. There’s too much space for misunderstandings on the internet.
Throughout my life, I’ve learned a lot about my feelings. That process has helped me understand how other people process their own emotions. Here’s what I discovered; jealousy is a very normal and common emotion. Now and then, someone will get something you really wanted, and you will feel jealous of them. It’s not a bad word; it does not make you an evil person.
Jealousy, however, can go in three directions: motivation, acceptance, or resentment. Motivation can look like a video of a girl at the gym with the body you want, so you make a point of working out more often. Acceptance can be someone’s opinion that is bothering you, but realizing that is their opinion, not yours. Then there’s resentment, which is lashing out at a creator because they may have what you don’t. Having access to so much of people’s lives on the internet and the liberty to share your opinion on them, makes bitterness the first option. People don’t tend to process their emotions, before commenting on the first thing that pops into their heads.
The media already feeds us insecurities, but it is our job to manage our emotions in a healthy way. At the end of the day, comparison and hate hurt whoever succumbs to it. Calling somebody names in a comment section does not make you better than them in any way; it only harms the other person’s feelings.
The internet is full of hate, anger, and misunderstandings, and people have lost the ability to control their opinions and feelings. Scrolling has become a lost art. To create a healthier and safer online environment, people must learn how to leave behind content they disagree with without letting it affect them. Nobody’s feelings should be at play, and not every opinion, or hateful notion must be displayed. Destructive mindsets have gotten out of hand, along with the confidence to express them. As a collective, we must heal and, unfortunately, relearn the basics of respect.