Romance is a subject, or rather a feeling, that has been extensively talked and written about in many different languages, with each person conveying romance in their own way. In a way, that is romantic in itself. Romance, to me, has been one of my favorite genres to consume, whether in books or visually. It makes me happy, simply put. You become invested in two separate characters and eventually their relationship to one another. Within romance, there are tropes that have become more popular as of late. Recently, it seems every author or screenwriter markets their media with a list of tropes to back it up. Luckily, tropes are diverse, and there is something for everyone. Whether you find yourself drawn to a more forbidden love Romeo and Juliet-esque story, or are into an office romance that is somehow not an HR violation, there is one trope you will find yourself aching for more of. For me, that is the friends-to-lovers trope. To be friends with someone and share your time before ever becoming romantically involved is incredibly sweet to me. They chose you before even seeing you in that light, and in a way is that not the most romantic action? To be chosen just because of who you are, and to be important enough in someone’s life that they find comfort in you?
There is a beauty in spending your life with someone who has known you as both a platonic friend and a romantic partner, and despite knowing the good and bad, stayed. It is not a meet-cute nor a sizzling, sexually charged hatred, but to me it’s gold. It’s in the way their eyes may linger on the other person’s face too long when they think they aren’t looking. Or how they know their every little habit, even the ones the person themselves may not be aware of. “Your nose crinkles when you’re nervous” or “You fidget with your necklace when you’re happy.” They take notice because they care, because to them you are a person of importance.
You are wholly loved when you are seen. With friends-to-lovers, they have seen all of you. They have loved you as a dear friend and have felt their feelings transform and consume them, until they are now looking at you with love-sick eyes. It’s raw, and it’s the foundation of a bond that can’t be broken. To have friendship that comes from loyalty and trust as the foundation of a relationship is the best thing to see as a consumer of romance.
To best bring this point across, I have compiled a list of my favorite friends-to-lovers couples.
ARAS AND LEYLA (DAHA 17)
I have decided to start with my most recent romance obsession, which is Aras and Leyla from the Turkish show Daha 17. The male lead, Aras, comes into the story looking for his brother, while the female lead, Leyla, is dealing with the turmoil of her dysfunctional family. Despite the conflicts they face from the difficulties of their families, what was once friendship grows into something deeper until neither can ignore what is going on. They have a connection that is truly heartwarming to see, which is why they are my favorite couple. My favorite moment between them is when Aras is injured after an argument with another character; Leyla takes care of his wounds for him. It’s a moment that’s minuscule in the grand scheme of things, but I love it because it shows the care and trust they have in each other. She cares for him immensely, enough to tend to him, and he trusts her enough to allow her to do so. Those are the foundations for a relationship to progress. I hope as the story goes on, I’m able to see them end up in love and happy like they deserve!
JJ AND KIARA (OUTERBANKS)
JJ and Kiara start out as established friends from season one, with a history starting from childhood already between them. Throughout the first two seasons, they engage in a platonic friendship as they often joke around, and when it comes down to it, they comfort each other when the other is in a depressed state. The male main character, JJ, is a goofy, reckless archetype who is dealing with a strained, abusive relationship with his father. He uses humor to cope and believes himself to be unlovable. For Kiara, the girl he has known since childhood, to be the one he inevitably falls in love with and for his feelings to be reciprocated is what makes it deep. The girl who has known him since childhood and has seen the “ugliest” sides of him still chose him, and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She didn’t see him for what he thought he was, but rather for the man that she knew he was.
In season three, their relationship rapidly progressed, with both of them finally facing their emotions about one another. When Kiara is sent off to a wilderness camp, JJ is the one to go after her. He does this not only because he loves her, but because he wants her to be able to see her friends again. It’s with that care that delicate feelings bubble up again. When he does rescue her, she confesses, and they share a kiss. The fact that it happened between two people who have already chosen each other and have a lifetime of experiences together makes it all the more satisfying.
POPPY AND ALEX (PEOPLE WE MEET ON VACATION)
Poppy and Alex from the book and movie People We Meet on Vacation are smile-inducing. They’re on opposite sides of almost everything. Poppy is eccentric while Alex is reserved. Poppy likes to go with the flow, but Alex loves a routine. Despite this, they build a friendship through the summers they spend with each other spanning years. They experience many different places together, and in a way, being in each other’s presence is what makes the summers worth it. Even if it is just platonic at the moment, they want to be together (in a friendship way) and want to share these experiences. It’s cute!
When the feelings come to fruition, neither wants to confront them, because the friendship they have grown is precious to both of them. Whenever Alex takes a step forward, Poppy insists that they are just friends. This leads to Alex proposing to his girlfriend and forcing Poppy to face the music. While this leads to their friendship falling apart (heartbreaking, I know), this separation is quite important. It makes them realize that being together is what made those summers special.
They end up reconnecting; everything they’ve avoided comes to fruition. Poppy chooses Alex, not just platonically but romantically as well. She wants all the same things he does, and has all along. He was a friend she went on vacations with, someone she trusted enough to travel the world with, and that made the romance pay off.
STEFAN AND CAROLINE (THE VAMPIRE DIARES)
When Caroline meets Stefan, she is (spoiler) much more human and overly neurotic, with insecurity to match. Stefan is the new cool, mysterious guy, leading her to be intrigued, and she puts the flirt on heavy. He rejects her; it’s tragic, and since this all happened in the first episode of season one, they both simply move on from this. They do not have a significant moment until season two, when Caroline is turned into a vampire, and Stefan takes the role of teaching her how to control herself and live her new life. He teaches her how to hunt, and this leads to them becoming close friends with no romantic feelings on either side.
When Caroline is shamed by Tyler for sleeping with Klaus, Stefan is the one to come to her defense, showing that despite the fact that he doesn’t agree with her choices, he has her back and will not let others talk down to her. He refers to her as his best friend, and even without the romantic implications further down the road, their friendship is one of the best parts of the show.
Everything comes to a head in season six when Caroline is hurt that Stefan left without a word, and hurt even more when he comes back. The change in their feelings is evident, but Stefan withdraws, causing Caroline to second-guess everything. Once Caroline’s mother dies, Stefan is there for her every step of the way, even when she self-destructs.
There is a softness to how their friendship evolved in season two and how he has always treated her with trust, choosing to depend on her when his memories went missing in season four. They were each other’s anchors, only wanting the best for the other person, and this is truly why they worked.
Sometimes you are just someone’s safe place, whether it’s platonic or romantic. Sometimes just knowing that someone loves you truly and knows you, really knows you, makes everything worth it. At the end of the day, that is what makes friends-to-lovers my favorite trope.