Going to college is an adjustment period for everyone. You are moving away from home, and for some people, you are moving to a different state. You are learning what life is like on your own. For some people, they handle that really well, and others struggle. Either reaction is completely acceptable. You will join clubs, maybe join Greek life, who knows. You are finding new friends constantly. When you leave home and find new people, your personality might change, and that is okay; it is normal. You are growing as a person. What comes with that is that your original friends might not like that change about you, or you might not like the change about your friend. There is no right or wrong, so let’s talk about how to deal with these changes. Â
How To Handle The Change
The real question is: how do you handle the change? Let’s start off with if you change and your friends don’t like it. If they mention to you that they don’t particularly like what has changed about you and you guys have a talk about it, that is a good sign. If your friends are willing to show that they value your friendship and are worried, or still want to have your friendship, that shows there is hope. If the things they are bringing up are reasonable, like you don’t talk to them enough, or you only talk about your friends you made at college, then you can see how that isn’t fair to them. If they are bringing up things that aren’t reasonable and would completely change you as a person and you don’t want that, then you have to sit back and think about it. Think: is this something that I truly value about my life, and is it worth changing it for my friends back home? You have to self-reflect and see where your values truly are. The best way is to be as mature as possible.
Now let’s talk about when your friend changed at college. If you are starting to notice subtle changes in your friendship, like a lack of communication or you aren’t having the fun like you used to, then you should have a civil conversation with that friend. If they are able to see the problem, then all is good, but if they aren’t, then there is another problem. Sometimes they might get defensive, or they will say well you did this. That is not appropriate if you are just saying hey I have noticed these things. If it is something more serious, like they are just flat-out rude when you see them, then you have to think: is it even worth repairing this friendship? Think about their actions and if it is reflecting on how much they value you. People can still value you and get caught up in their own lives, but if they are just rude for no reason, then they don’t.Â
In the end, these things will probably happen at least once in your life. That is okay. You have to learn how to deal with it and overcome it. Everyone changes the older they get.Â