When I tell people I’m in a long-distance relationship, eight times out of ten they ask how I trust my partner to stay loyal while we’re miles away for long periods. I always reply with the same thing: A long-distance relationship isn’t much different than a regular, normal-distance one.
I trust my partner to stay loyal, faithful, and committed to this relationship we’ve built. I always tell people that even if I lived right next door to him — or even lived with him — I still couldn’t control every movement he makes. He could, if he really wanted to, cheat on me or break up with me for good.
Infidelity or mistrust aren’t the obstacles we’re fighting. It’s the moments I can’t hug him when he isn’t feeling his best. It’s the moments when I crave someone’s presence, and he’s miles away. It’s the moments when we have to go to sleep knowing that the other person is so far away, and the next time we may see each other may come later than expected.
I don’t think every long-distance relationship is healthier or even better than normal-distance ones, but I do think they face different challenges and value different things. There’s a reason many married adults say, “Don’t get married young.” It’s not to discourage you, but it’s because they think you’re too young to have found the one. After all, it’s shocking to be so lucky to have found the one so quickly. Plus, most married couples forget the passion, the dream, and the value of the little things they once wished for.
Amid challenges like raising kids, climbing the corporate ladder, and paying bills, the fire that once existed between a couple fades. It’s not on purpose, and sometimes the couple becomes unrecognizable to each other for years. I think that’s what separates the couples that last from the ones that don’t.
Facing so many challenges as a couple from an early age changes you and your partner more drastically and more deeply. Being able to recall a time when the dream of living together and raising a family seemed so far away or even unreachable makes every tear and every goodbye worth it.
In a long-distance relationship, the sunshine doesn’t have to end, and it shouldn’t. As long as you and your partner treat it as an experience you embark on together, rather than a test you’re constantly trying to pass, you’ll be able to embrace the distance.
You will find comfort in the words your partner says, value their presence more deeply, and surely learn to love and trust each other without fear of thinking, Do they really love me? If they don’t embark on this long-distance journey with you, that means they didn’t truly love you.
But if they do, you’ve found the one.
Want to keep up with HCBU? Make sure to like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, check out our Pinterest board, watch us on TikTok, and read our latest Tweets!