Sex is a tale as old as time. It is as natural as the earth beneath our feet, as natural as the wind blowing through the sky, and, of course, as natural as human existence itself. After all, sex is one of the ways life begins.
And yet, for something so deeply responsible and connected to the human experience, sex remains a conversation many people are uncomfortable having.
We have all seen the television shows or even had the talk with our guardians pertaining to that sit down for the infamous “birds and the bees.” But not everyone has had the opportunity to sit down with a parent, grandparent, or trusted adult and have that conversation. And even when young adults receive some version of “the talk,” it is not always a conversation about how to protect themselves, recognizing potential risks, communicate with their partners, or understanding the consequences that can come with sexual activity.
Sometimes, you are simply told what sex is.
Not how to navigate it.
Welcome The New Kid With a Kind of Freedom
For many college students, arriving on campus means entering an entirely new world.
Students are experiencing independence, new people, exploring their identities, and making decisions without the same level of parental supervision they may have experienced in high school. For some, this newfound freedom can feel exciting. For others, it can feel overwhelming.
And everyone is trying their best to figure it out at the same time.
On a college campus thousands of students are navigating similar experiences simultaneously. The perfect storm of creation for an environment where choices, behaviors, relationships, and misinformation spread quicker than light.
There can be a domino effect.
One person is exploring. Another person is curious. Someone else is looking for connection. Before long, an entire campus becomes part of a conversation that no one is actually having out loud.
Curiosity Meets a Lack of Information
College students are sexually active it’s not a big secret, but sexual activity does not equate knowledgeable sexual health literacy.
Someone may know that they want to experience sexual pleasure without knowing how to protect themselves. They may not know their partner’s STI status. They may not fully understand the possibility of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), urinary tract infections (UTIs), yeast infections, or other concerns that can affect their sexual health.
Sometimes, the biggest barrier is simply knowing how to have a conversation with open dialogue.
Talking openly with a sexual partner about testing, protection, boundaries, and sexual health can feel uncomfortable. But sexual health is still health. These conversations should not be treated as something shameful or embarrassing.
Imagine if discussing sexual health felt as normal as asking your friends what they wanted to eat for dinner.
The more comfortable people become with these conversations, the more opportunities they have to make informed decisions about themselves and their partners.
The Red String of Campus Connections
College campuses can feel small especially when it comes to relationships.
There is almost an invisible red string connecting people. While you are aware of someone you have had sexual contact with, you may also know an additional someone else who has had sexual contact with them. That person has a web connections of their own and you may just be tiny part of it.
The network continues and is constantly expanding with time.
With the absence of communication and regular testing, people may assume they know more about their sexual network than they actually do.
That is why students should take full advantage of the sexual health resources available on their campuses. A plethora of college provides testing services, educational resources, health center appointments, or other forms of support, students should know how to access them. Exhaust every opportunity your college provides.
And yes, protection matters, too.
Some people may argue that condoms take away from the pleasure of the moment. But a moment of discomfort or reduced pleasure is temporary. The consequences of an unprotected sexual encounter can last the entirety of your life or even worse it can cost it.
Please Get Tested
Let’s make this part simple and to the point: GET TESTED!
Do not rely solely on someone’s word about their sexual health status. Even if that person is your partner and you trust them immensely, communication should be paired with responsible health practices.
Testing is an important part of taking ownership of your sexual health, especially when establishing new sexual relationships or when there has been a change in your sexual circumstances. Different infections require different tests, which makes speaking with a healthcare professional about appropriate testing especially important.
Knowing your status gives you information. Information gives you the ability to make informed decisions.
Your health deserves more than an assumption.
Consent Is NOT optional
A conversation about sexual health would be incomplete without talking about consent.
Consent is a clear, voluntary agreement to participate in sexual activity. It should never be assumed, and it can be withdrawn at any time.
Ask.
“Are you okay with this?”
“Do you want to continue?”
“Is this something you are comfortable with?”
These questions are not awkward or take away from your intimacy. They are part of respecting the person you are sharing that experience with.
And if the answer changes?
You stop.
Even if someone previously said yes, they can change their mind. A yes to one thing does not automatically mean yes to something else. There should never be an assumption that someone is comfortable simply because they agreed to something earlier.
Everyone deserves to feel comfortable enough to communicate what they do and do not want.
Consent, Coercion, and Pressure Are Not the Same Thing
It is also important to understand the difference between consent, coercion, and pressure.
Consent is freely given.
Coercion occurs when someone uses manipulation, intimidation, guilt, threats, or persistent pressure to push someone into sexual activity. Repeatedly asking until someone gives in does not necessarily mean that genuine consent has been given and can still be considered assault.
Pressure can be subtler. Someone might feel pressured because they are afraid of disappointing their partner, losing a relationship, being judged, or appearing inexperienced.
But discomfort is not consent.
A person should never have to be worn down until they finally say yes.
If someone says no, stop.
If someone is unsure, pause.
If someone changes their mind, stop.
Respecting boundaries is not simply good manners. It is an essential part of sexual health and personal safety.
Sometimes, It Isn’t Just About Sex It’s About Connection
There is another part of the college experience that we do not talk about enough is loneliness.
Being away from home can be exciting, but it can also be isolating. Many students leave behind their families, childhood friends, familiar neighborhoods, and support systems. Suddenly, they are surrounded by hundreds of new faces while simultaneously trying to figure out where they belong.
So naturally, people seek connection.
Sometimes, they seek it everywhere they can find it.
For students who feel lonely or far away from home, intimacy can become one of the quickest ways to feel close to another person. Someone may crave affection, attention, companionship, or simply the feeling of being wanted. And when that opportunity appears, it can be tempting to accept it immediately especially when you are desperate for connection.
But loneliness can make it harder to recognize whether a situation is actually healthy for you.
Wanting connection is human.
Wanting intimacy is human.
But neither should require you to ignore your boundaries, your health, or your comfort.
Every student deserves relationships in which they feel respected, valued, and safe enough to express their needs without fear of judgment or rejection.
The Conversation We Cannot Afford to Avoid: Sexual Assault on Campus
Unfortunately, discussing sexual experiences on college campuses also means acknowledging the reality of sexual assault.
Sexual violence is not something that can be brushed aside as an unfortunate part of college life. It is a serious issue that demands education, prevention, meaningful support for survivors, and institutional accountability.
Students should understand that sexual assault is never the victim’s fault. Clothing, relationship status, previous sexual experiences, alcohol consumption, or a person’s decision to enter someone’s room do not excuse sexual violence.
Consent must be freely given. Silence, fear, or the absence of physical resistance should never be treated as automatic agreement. And when someone comes forward to share their experience, how that person is received matters.
Imagine gathering the courage to tell someone about an experience that has deeply affected you, only to find yourself being questioned, blamed, or treated as though you are the one who did something wrong.
For survivors, that response can compound the harm they have already experienced.
Survivors deserve to be heard, supported, and treated with dignity not made to feel responsible for someone else’s actions.
Believe Survivors. Support Them. Demand Accountability.
One of the most important parts of addressing sexual violence on campus is ensuring we respond appropriately when someone comes forward.
Women who choose to report their experiences should have access to supportive people and fair processes through which their concerns can be addressed. They should not have to navigate the aftermath alone or feel that speaking up will automatically cost them their reputation, friendships, education, or sense of safety.
Accountability matters, too.
When sexual misconduct occurs, colleges must take reports seriously, follow necessary, policies and laws, conduct fair investigations, and implement appropriate measures when misconduct is established. Depending on the circumstances, consequences may include disciplinary action, restrictions, suspension, or expulsion.
The goal should never be to protect an institution’s reputation at the expense of student safety.
Nor should students be left feeling that reporting misconduct will accomplish nothing.
A campus community cannot claim to prioritize women’s safety while ignoring reports, minimizing harmful behavior, or allowing institutional processes to become obstacles to meaningful accountability.
Where Can Students Turn for Help?
Knowing where to seek support can make a meaningful difference, particularly when someone is unsure about what happened, what options are available, or whom they can trust.
Students should familiarize themselves with the resources available at their institutions, including:
- Campus counseling services: Mental health professionals can help students navigate emotional distress and explore support options.
- Campus health centers: Healthcare professionals can provide sexual health information, testing, and referrals. After an assault, a medical professional can also explain available healthcare options.
- Trusted university administrators: Students may also seek guidance from appropriate student affairs personnel or other designated officials.
For students who do not feel comfortable starting on campus, support is available beyond the university.
The RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline provides free, confidential support around the clock. Survivors and people supporting them can:
- Call: 800-656-HOPE (4673)
- Text: HOPE to 64673
- Chat online: Visit RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline.
Trained support specialists can listen, discuss available options, and provide referrals to local services.
No one should have to figure everything out alone.
The Silence Has to End Somewhere
We have to make room for all of it: the questions students are afraid to ask, the conversations partners need to have, the resources students deserve to know about, and the experiences survivors should never have to carry alone.
The responsibility does not fall solely on students to educate themselves or protect one another. Universities, administrators, educators, and campus communities all have a role in creating environments where sexual health is taken seriously and reports of sexual misconduct are addressed appropriately.
Voices deserve to be heard. Experiences deserve to be taken seriously. Safety deserves more than a promise written in a university policy.
Because the campus is never really silent.
Students are talking. Students are dating. Students are exploring. Students are searching for connection. Some are asking questions they have never felt comfortable asking before. Others are carrying experiences they have not yet found the words to share.
It is time we create campuses where those conversations can happen openly, honestly, and without judgment and where speaking up is met with support rather than silence.
Sexual health is part of our health. Consent is part of our relationships. Accountability is part of our responsibility to one another.
And no student should have to sacrifice their health, dignity, or sense of safety simply because the conversation is uncomfortable.
The silence has to end somewhere. Why not here?