Colleges have a way of instilling a common sentiment among their students: a sense of purpose. Even if it’s not what you’re looking for, it’s what you get; at least when it comes to your daily routine. The tight deadlines and readings due won’t let you forget to have checklists to complete by the end of the day.
While that is a good thing because it fulfills our inherent need for feeling useful and productive, being too obedient to your sense of purpose can have you trapped in a cycle of optimization. Wake up in your dorm room, run from class to class, perhaps study in the library, and then go back to the dorm room to sleep. End, repeat.
Sometimes we even try to create a little moment of relaxation in the dorm, watch a TikTok or two, or eat some comfort ramen while watching our favorite show. Is that enough for a healthy pattern of college life? The answer to that is an expected, yet often ignored, no!
Listen, I absolutely adored my freshman year roommate, so much so that we lived together sophomore year as well before I transferred schools; however, everybody needs a different space to be: a place where one’s face blends with that of any other stranger. A place that doesn’t have an inherent purpose like your home or your job; a neutral environment where you can discover who you are apart from your obligations. A third place.
What is a third place, really?
A third place is where your thoughts have a background sound of conversations, strangers laughing, constant introductions, people shaking hands, and, in our case, probably saying their year and their major as they shyly smile at each other.
The term was first elaborated by sociologist Ray Oldenburg in 1989 in his book The Great Good Place. The way Oldenburg defined it was “a generic designation for a great variety of public places that host the regular, voluntary, informal, and happily anticipated gatherings of individuals beyond the realms of home and work.”
That’s a better definition than mine, but he is a respected sociologist, so this isn’t a fair competition.
Why are third places good?
Unlike first places (which in our case are our dorms or apartments around or near campus) and second places (our classrooms and labs), third places are where people can finally rest from their constant worrying and nurture genuine relationships, plugging themselves into the community around them.
Going to third places reminds us that life is more than submitting assignments on time or getting eight hours of sleep; we’re meant to connect to each other as well. Maybe there you will meet the leader of a new club, and that will introduce you to a hobby you never imagined you would try and love.
College can be a lonely experience if it’s not spent next to the right people for you, but it doesn’t stop there.
In fact, third places are incredibly important even for the functioning of democracy. That’s a word that weighs a lot; now I feel like I got your attention, huh? When coffee shops were first introduced to Europe, they were considered dangerous because they sparked political unrest. They were a space for the exchange of ideas and opinions, especially since they did not involve the drunkenness of taverns in the 17th century.
It was such a big deal that King Charles II felt threatened and tried to suppress coffee houses in 1675, which lasted only 10 days because people wouldn’t stop complaining and fighting against it. I also bet you didn’t know until today that getting overpriced chocolate croissants while having tea with a friend around campus is actually performing a civic duty. This is a new type of girl math!
How do you find a third space?
If you go to FSU, you’re in luck, because campus is about 1,810 acres big across counties. There’s got to be a specific tree where you can sit and sip your coffee, or a bench that’s particularly comfortable to sit on and chat with a new friend.
Maybe it’s time to go bowling at the Student Union, lie down on Landis Green, or take a different route home so you can see the part of campus you don’t have any classes in. Say hi to people while you’re at it, and let those places host your friendly debates—remember, now this is a public service matter too.
Sometimes, it takes being uncomfortable in a new part of campus to build your own little places to feel like you belong in Tallahassee.
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