Walkable cities. Run clubs. Coffee shops. Farmer’s markets. Book clubs. I’ve seen these trends popping up everywhere I turn recently, and it feels like everyone is searching for the same thing, but in different fonts: somewhere to belong.
Introducing the “third place,” a place you spend time in that’s separate from your two typical places: home and work. As the years have progressed, I’ve realized that the commonality of the third place has slowly diminished, especially since the COVID-19 lockdown. People got used to the safety of their two places and lost sight of the art of having a third place. But in recent days, I’ve noticed that the third place is starting to make a much-needed return.
Third places in media
The idea of the third place has been around for ages, even if you didn’t necessarily realize it. We see third places in all sorts of media, including our favorite sitcoms and comfort shows. Luke’s Diner in Gilmore Girls, MacLaren’s Pub in How I Met Your Mother, and Monk’s Cafe in Seinfeld are all examples of third places– unrelated to work or home.
A specific example that personally comes to mind is Central Perk, the coffee shop that our favorite Friends characters spent much of their free time in. Friends has always been a comfort show for me, as well as millions of others around the world.
While not everyone can recite certain episodes from memory like me (subtle flex), this long-running sitcom still provides comfort and feel-good moments for viewers, even 20 years later. I could argue that part of what makes this sitcom so comforting is the presence of the third place. The friends from Friends didn’t have to ask each other, “Are you free Thursday around 6:30 p.m.?”; they just went to Central Perk.
Maybe the most unrealistic part of Friends wasn’t the size of Monica’s apartment in New York City, but rather the fact that six friends could walk into the same coffee shop at practically any hour of the day and expect to find someone they knew.
social media & third places
As the rise of the digital age grew and a plethora of social media platforms started to replace real-life communication, the presence of the third place slowly started to diminish. The COVID-19 lockdown, in particular, played a crucial part in this cultural shift. When stuck in the confines of your own home, there was truly no option but to rely on social media for the social connections we all seek.
Unfortunately, even after lockdown ended and social spaces reopened, our digital habits stayed right in place. After all, why leave the house hoping to run into someone you know when your entire social circle is easily accessible right on your phone? What were once face-to-face conversations to connect with others turned into sending TikTok DMs and playing GamePigeon on iMessage.
While social media was initially designed to make us feel more connected, the irony of the situation is that it eventually started to make people feel more isolated. People have started to romanticize public spaces again, from sitting in coffee shops to joining community clubs (the run club epidemic needs to be studied).
While third places may have declined, I think we could all contribute to their comeback. After all, these places aren’t what’s special– the familiarity of them is. The barista at your favorite coffee shop knowing your name, seeing familiar faces every week, or running into your friends at the local bar.
Many college students are now seemingly obsessed with the idea of moving to a big city post-grad, valuing walkability and the exciting opportunities. However, maybe what we’re all searching for is that feeling of community, having someplace to go and feeling a part of something. The people just yearn for community, after all.
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