When The Clock Strikes 12

I think that most people in this world fall into one of two categories: Those who get up at 5 am,  go to the gym, and finish their to-do lists before breakfast; and the other category, where we discover the meaning of life at 12 am and go to bed at 5. Those who don’t fall into either category are the ones who scare me– they stay up till 5, wake up at 8 and still manage to function like actual human beings. 

But I’m really concerned with one category. The ones whose motivation kicks in at 12. That’s where I fall. 

Because why is it that at the moment when we should be asleep and tucked into our beds, is the moment that we decide that now is the time to complete everything we’ve ever wanted to accomplish?

At 10:30 am, opening your laptop to work seems highly unreasonable. By 2 pm, you never want to look at your emails ever again. At 5 pm, going to the gym seems like it requires Herculean effort, and by 8 pm you’ve convinced yourself that it’s completely acceptable to work on your list tomorrow.

And then the clock strikes 12. 

Suddenly, you’re making the most complicated and intensive colour-coded schedule of your life. You’re cleaning your room, making daily journal and gym goals, confirming appointments with your therapist. You’re looking for internships and finishing assignments that you’ve had for two weeks. You’re downloading ten different meditation videos and deciding that, come sunrise, you’re gonna be a completely different person. 

The motivation that strikes at midnight is something almost magical. I genuinely wish that it could be bottled so that I could just take a sip of it whenever I need to get myself into high gear. But alas. It’s like a sugar rush without the sugar, but with the crash. Procrastination is out, and motivation is in. 

Personally, I think that there’s just something particular about midnight. The world quiets, the lights go soft, the messages stop lighting up your lock screen. There’s no expectation at midnight (well, unless it’s New Year’s Eve). You’re allowed to just be yourself. To belong only to yourself. No one needs you; nothing requires your attention. At midnight, it’s just you and your thoughts and that strange peace of being awake when the rest of the world has already started dreaming. 

And maybe that’s why we become more productive at midnight. Not because of a sudden energy boost or your brain suddenly decided that it wanted to cooperate, but because, for the first time all day, you’re alone and allowed space to be just you. Allowed to do just what you want. To complete the little things that have been on your mind all day, but couldn’t do, with there was always something getting in the way. But it’s midnight now, and the only person demanding your attention is you. 

There’s also something strangely, uniquely comforting about making plans at midnight. For the future seems full of possibility and good choices when you’re sitting at your desk with just your lamp illuminating your room. Illuminating your future. Now though, with the world quiet and the day– always full of a million things to do– reduced to a distant thought, you feel unstoppable. Even just for a few hours 

But the problem is that you do have to sleep. And when you wake up to the not so gentle calls of your alarm, hitting the snooze button again and again till you have to rush to get to class, you’ll probably hate yourself for staying up so late. 

The colour-coded schedule is thrown out of whack by unscheduled coffee breaks. The gym goals can be sidelined for twenty more minutes of sleep. And between the lack of sleep and a million things to do, the journaling and meditation take a backseat. 

And so you tell yourself, that tonight you go to sleep on time and wake up at a decent hour. Go to the gym and find that internship and do everything you carefully colour coded onto Canva. 

But somehow it doesn’t happen. The cycle of late nights and busy days continues. 

But maybe, for right now, that’s ok. It’s ok to not have everything figured out. Yes, life can be short, but just because it’s short doesn’t mean that it has to be without chaos. There’s something that’s very human about wanting to be better, to do better. About believing that you can change. 

And just perhaps that’s what midnight gives us hope. It gives us the space to be, to breathe. It lets us visualize the person we want to become. Someone who’s a little more put together. Someone who’s just a little more productive. Someone who’s just a little less overwhelmed by everything they have to do. It’s not something that can happen overnight. It’s a change that’s made step by step. 

There’s always another midnight. Another chance to take that next step. Another colour-coded schedule to be made, one that has perhaps learned from the previous version. 

So tonight I know where I’ll be. Sitting at my desk. And, when the clock strikes 12, I’ll start planning my next midnight makeover, entirely convinced that this is the one that sticks. 

Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. But that’s a problem for tomorrow.

• #latenightthoughts
• #life
• #procrastination
• #self-improvement
• college