“How can a person know everything at 18, but nothing at 22?”
I remember this time during my senior year of high school. I was applying for college, selecting my major, having sport senior nights, and figuring out my next steps. I had great friends, a loving family, and the world was my oyster. I thought I had it all figured out.
Writing this now, as a senior in college, I couldn’t have had it less figured out then. Except for maybe now. I definitely have it less figured out now. However, I have learned a lesson or two since I was 18.
Lesson 1: Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes
Looking back at when I was 18, I had one major fear: Change.
I was scared to alter my life in any way. I was in my comfort zone and the thought of leaving it was petrifying. Going off to college without any of my friends was the first big change. I really struggled my freshman year and my life wasn’t going the way I planned.
Things got better, but I found myself feeling very stuck and lost my junior year. At this point, I sought out change. I ended up not taking an internship the summer of 2026. I ended up applying to work at a summer camp in Colorado. I spent 10 weeks there meeting new people, trying new things, and throwing myself completely out of my comfort zone. I came back feeling refreshed and feeling a sense of purpose for the first time in years.
I couldn’t wait for change to happen, I needed to make the change.
Lesson 2: True Happiness Comes From You, Not Others
For so much of my life I thought that happiness came purely from the life you build. I thought if I got good grades, had friends, had a good relationship with family, and was involved that I would be happy. And don’t get me wrong, all of these things contribute to happiness, but they are not happiness within themselves.
Despite all these things in my life, I felt a true sense of unhappiness whenever I was alone. I realized in order to reach happiness within me that I would need to spend time with me. I started prioritizing journaling, finding hobbies, and spending genuine time with myself.
This wasn’t a linear journey and I’m definitely still figuring things out. However, once I started focusing on me and the things that make me happy when no one else is around, happiness found me.
Lesson 3: Stop Prioritizing Those Who Won’t Prioritize You
I’ve always been the type of person to give my all to every friend I have. I would give and give and give, even when nothing was being given back.
This type of “friend” can be incredibly draining and left me thinking that it was my fault the friendship was struggling. But after a while it became clear that I simply wasn’t a priority to these people. All the energy that was being drained from these relationships was energy I needed to be pouring into myself and those who poured into me.
It took me years to learn and truly apply these lessons to my life and there are still many more to be learned. But I definitely know a lot more than I knew at 18 and for that I’m eternally grateful.