College is full of nights to remember: getting ready with your friends, making the pregame playlists, taking pictures for everyone’s Instagram stories, and dancing all night. Staying safe shouldn’t mean staying in or constantly looking over your shoulder. It’s about having a few habits in place so you can enjoy your night with confidence.
Recent events at Cornell University have brought a difficult reality into focus. It forces us to confront the reality that women can’t always assume they’ll be safe simply because they’re in a familiar place or surrounded by other people. The Cornell case serves as a reminder for all of us that our personal safety deserves our utmost attention. We stand with Jane Doe, and in a way, we are all Jane Doe. We do not all share her experience, but we all deserve the right to feel safe, to be heard, and to have our boundaries respected.
While no one can control the actions of another person, there are simple steps you can take to look out for yourself and your friends.
Always Stay with Your Group.
Make sure you always stick with your group! Go out with people you trust and establish a plan for getting home. The most important rule is to leave together, or make sure someone knows how and when you’re leaving. If you’re heading out alone, tell at least one friend where you’re going and who you’ll be with. A quick “I’m home” text makes a bigger difference than you think. It’s all about holding your group accountable to stay together for everyone’s safety!
Keep an Eye on Your Drink.
Whether you’re drinking alcohol or not, don’t leave your beverage unattended or accept a drink from a stranger. If you set your drink down and lose track of it, please, please, please get a new one! And remember: you never owe anyone a drink, your time or an explanation for saying no! On that note, be watchful of your friends’ drinks as well. It’s important to advocate for themselves when they may not be able to!
Have Rides Sorted out Beforehand.
Don’t scramble at the end of the night trying to figure out how to get some safely. Designate who’s booking the Uber home, know where campus transportation operates, and most importantly, keep your phone charged! If you are walking, stay in well-lit, populated areas when possible. If something feels wrong, trust that feeling and leave. Go with your gut and keep yourself safe!
Have Your Resources Handy.
Lastly, make sure you know where to get help before you might need it! Designate an emergency contact in your phone, know which friends you can contact at any hour, and familiarize yourself with campus resources like emergency call stations and campus police. Knowing these resources beforehand can save you a huge deal of stress if you ever need to contact them during an emergency.
Being prepared isn’t paranoid, and carrying yourself confidently doesn’t mean pretending nothing bad can happen. Women’s safety isn’t just an individual responsibility. We all have to look out for each other.
Be the friend who notices when someone seems uncomfortable.
Walk your roommate home.
Check that the girl who left the party alone actually made it back safely.
Step in when something feels wrong.
We can’t control everything that happens when we walk out the door, but we can create a culture where women know they aren’t alone, and that they have a strong community that is looking out for them.
After all, the best night out is one you can enjoy, and one you can happily reminisce about.