Content warning: This article discusses sexual assault, sexual violence, and trauma. If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can contact the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or use RAINN’s online chat at www.rainn.org. The hotline provides confidential support and information about local resources.
This week, I read the newly released book in The Way I Used to Be Trilogy, The Way We Become, by Amber Smith. This final book in the trilogy follows Eden, Amanda, and Gen through the aftermath of a sexual assault trial as they try to find their own ways to heal and move on past their traumas. This was a very impactful read for me, especially with what has currently been going on in our world surrounding the topic of sexual assault.
This book made me start thinking about how sexual assault is something that people need more knowledge about and how much the aftermath of it affects the victims, not just the moment that it happens. When this happens to someone, it impacts them so much that it can damage their whole life, including friendships, mental health, or just the way that they see themselves. Books and stories like The Way We Become can help others become more aware of how sexual assault experiences can affect the victims in a way they never did before.
Sexual assault is a topic that needs to be talked about more, but I started to think about the representation we have in pop culture. Like when I go on Instagram, I get very proud when I see people I’m following standing up for Jane Doe from the Cornell 7 case or saying, “I am Jane Doe relating to this experience, encouraging others to share their stories too.”
The Cornell 7 case (2024) is a very good example of how talking about sexual assault with others is very important. In this case, a student who went to Cornell University, known as Jane Doe, was sexually assaulted by seven men in the fraternity at this University. This case went through Cornell University’s internal process but it didn’t file criminal charges until just recently when Jane Doe filed a civil lawsuit, reopening the investigation.
People find sexual assault a very controversial topic to talk about because people like to question the specifics of how everything happened. For example, what were they wearing, what were they drinking, why didn’t they tell someone right after it happened? Learning more about sexual assault can help people understand better why asking these questions can be very hurtful to the victims and survivors when they shouldn’t be blamed for an experience that was very traumatic for them, which they couldn’t stop from happening.
When a sexual assault case like this becomes public, I notice that some people try to defend the assailant by asking, “What about his future?” and worrying about what will happen to his education, career, or reputation. One thing that those people don’t ask is, “What about her future?” She is the one who was assaulted, yet she is the one being blamed and reprimanded, with no one to stand up for her.
Representation in social media, music, and TV is very important for sexual assault survivors as well, so that they can realize that they aren’t alone in the way that they feel. For example, TV shows like Off Campus explore the topic of sexual assault that many victims can relate to, including the feelings you experience when it happens and how it feels when it’s over, and you are forced to move on but can’t. That one moment that changed your whole life stuck in the back of your mind.
In Off Campus, Hannah was sexually assaulted when she was in high school, but when she goes to college, this experience still impacts her by affecting her songwriting abilities, future relationships, and making her feel like this one event defines who she is as a person. Exploring topics like this in popular TV shows can get more people to start talking about sexual assault in an inspirational way that can get people to open up about their personal experiences and non-survivors to learn more information about an important topic that is very difficult to talk about.
The Way We Become by Amber Smith shows how sexual assault can still affect a person a long time after it actually happens. Eden, Amanda, and Gen all have to figure out how to move on from their sexual assaults. These characters’ stories, along with real-life survivors’ experiences shared in TV, music, and social media, help others understand they are not alone. Sexual assault is a very difficult topic to talk about, but talking about it can help people become more educated, listen to other survivors’ stories, and understand that others truly support and believe in them.