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SUBR | Life > Experiences

THE PRESSURE TO HAVE YOUR LIFE TOGETHER AT 20

Tamia Woods Student Contributor, Southern University and A&M College
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SUBR chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Let’s be honest, being 20 can feel like such a weird age. You are technically an adult, but at the same time, you are still trying to figure out who you are, what you want to do, and what your next step is. One minute you feel like you have everything figured out, and the next minute you are questioning your major, friendships, finances, and just about your whole life.  

Social media does not make it easier. Every time you open Instagram or TikTok, someone your age is graduating, getting their dream jobs and cars, moving into nice apartments, or traveling. Meanwhile, you may be at home or sitting in your dorm trying to figure out your next move. 

But the truth is, you do not have to have your entire life figured out at 20. 

    1    Stop Comparing Your Timeline 

Everyone’s timeline is different. Your friend might graduate before you, someone else might 

already have their career started, and another person might still be figuring out their major. 

Especially in college, it can feel like everyone is doing something amazing. You see people joining organizations, going to events, getting leadership positions, making connections, etc. It’s easy to wonder if you are doing enough. 

Instead of asking, “Why am I not where they are?” ask yourself, “What can I do to get closer to where I want to be?” 

    2    It’s Okay to Change Your Mind 

At 20, you are still learning what you like and what you don’t like. Your major, career goals, friendships, and plans can change, and that does not mean you are behind. 

College is a time to explore and learn more about yourself. Sometimes you have to try something before knowing if it’s for you. 

Give yourself permission to grow without feeling like you failed. 

    3    Give Yourself Some Grace 

Social media can make it seem like everyone else has life figured out, but you are only seeing part of the story. You are seeing the graduation pictures, not the stressful semesters. You are seeing the new apartment, not the bills. 

So, if you are 20 and still figuring things out, that is okay. You are allowed to make mistakes, change your mind, take your time, and grow. 

You do not have to have it all together. You are still becoming the person you are meant to be. 

Tamia Woods

SUBR '29

Hello, my name is Tamia Woods. I’m a Sophomore majoring in Nursing from Chicago, Illinois. I currently serve on the Social Media Committee for Her Campus SUBR. A few fun facts about me: I was a varsity cheerleader in high school and served as team captain for three years, I’m a certified nursing assistant, and I’m also an upcoming content creator.