I started my freshman year as a nervous wreck, worried about how to make new friends after spending 10 plus years with the same friend group throughout grade school and high school. I had a “group” during college orientation, but I did not stay in touch with them afterward. I knew I was going to have to suck it up and put myself out there. Everyone kept saying all of the freshmen were looking for friends and that it would just come naturally. Newsflash: it never did for me.
It felt like everyone I met already had friend groups, fun roommates or knew people from high school that were attending SLU. My freshman year roommate and I did not bond like the other girls I saw laughing and hanging out on campus. My dorm floor was also extremely anti-social, which did not help.
I decided to try one more way I knew how to make friends. I needed to join clubs. So, there I was at the annual involvement fair frantically joining GroupMe chats and trying to find my place. After finding the clubs I liked and attending a few meetings, I realized something else. One, most of these people are upperclassmen and already have their lives on campus figured out and two, the freshmen I did meet seemed like they wanted nothing to do with me.
Freshman year began to feel like a flop. I had made one friend, but we were not even super close, at that point. I had always imagined college friendships like what you see in the movies. For example, like The Barden Bellas in “Pitch Perfect.” That was far from true for me.
Flash forward to sophomore year and my study abroad experience was quickly approaching. While chatting with an upperclassman who had previously studied abroad, I brought up the fact that I did not have a friend group to go with and I planned to do it alone. The pure shock and horror on her face told me everything I needed to know about that idea. Cue the friendship anxiety once again. It is not like I could magically spawn friends that were also studying abroad, so I did the only logical thing a lonely 19-year-old college student could do. I resorted to Yik Yak, a popular anonymous social media platform for college students, to find some travel buddies.
This is where my unexpected friendships started to form. I found someone on Yik Yak that was almost in the same position as I was. Finally, I felt relieved. Here I come Madrid, I have my one friend and she has her friend group and everything will be OK. And surprisingly, it actually was OK. I ended up traveling to different countries with this girl and spending a lot of time with her. I also formed more friendships abroad and finally had my “movie-esque friend group.”
My first three semesters of college made me feel like I would not find friends or have that picture perfect friend group. Now, as I sit here and reflect during my fifth semester, I realize I truly just needed to give it time. Although it never naturally came for me freshman year, and it did not happen until the end of sophomore year, it still happened.
College friendships will never be linear, and that is OK. Friendships will come and go as you transition into different phases of life. It will feel lonely and sometimes hopeless, but know that there is someone out there who is looking for a friend too. Friendships can form in the most unexpected ways, and I could not be more grateful for my unexpected friends.