October is supposed to be scary. Haunted houses, horror movies, ghost stories, people jumping out from behind doors with chainsaws.Â
But as a Virginia Tech student, I would argue that we already experience enough horror on a daily basis. Â
Because sure, a haunted house is scary. But have you ever been driving around campus, ready for class and realized every single commuter parking lot is full?Â
Exactly.Â
So, in honor of the spooky season, here are some of the real-life Hokie scares that deserve their own horror movie.
The Hokie PlagueÂ
It starts innocently enough. You wake up feeling fine. Maybe a little tired, but that’s college. Then you take that first sip of water. And suddenly, you know. The Hokie Plague has found you. Every fall, it feels like campus becomes one giant exchange of coughs, sneezes and “I’m fine, I just haven’t slept.”Â
You can run, but you can’t hide.Â
Every parking spot being taken
You’re already running late. You pull into the commuter lot. Full. You try another lot. Full. You circle around one more time because surely someone is leaving. Nothing. At this point, you’re no longer looking for a parking spot. You’re looking for a divine intervention. Â
Missing the bus when you’re already late
You see the bus. You start running. The doors close. The bus drives away. You stand there in disbelief as you watch the only thing that could have gotten you to class on time to disappear into the distance. And now, you’re debating whether speedwalking across campus is physically possible.Â
Yelling “LET’S GO” and getting absolutely nothing back
You’re walking around campus and suddenly feel inspired. You yell, “LET’S GO!” Silence. No “HOKIES!” Nothing. Just you, standing there, wondering if you misread the situation entirely. Humbling.
The car that thinks pedestrians are optional
Class just got out. There are people everywhere. The crosswalk is packed. And somehow, there is always that one car that decides this is the perfect time to squeeze through the intersection. Everyone stops. Everyone stares. And you take one very quick mental inventory of your life choices. Excuse me, we are indeed walking here. Â
Gameday trafficÂ
You forgot it was game day. The road did not. What normally takes 10 minutes now takes approximately 45 minutes. Cars are everywhere. People everywhere. Traffic everywhere. And suddenly, you understand why your professor said, “Don’t be late because of football traffic”Â
The endless constructionÂ
 Is there a construction project happening on campus? Yes. Will you know exactly what they’re building? Probably not. Will your normal route to class randomly be blocked? Absolutely. You finally memorize your route, get comfortable with it and then—boom. Construction. Time to find another wayÂ
The Hokie Passport betrayalÂ
You have a career fair. You need to print your resumes. You walk into the building feeling productive and prepared. Then you realize. There is no money on your Hokie Passport. Your resume is ready. Your outfit is ready. Your career fair confidence is questionable but present. And yet, you cannot print a single page. A true horror story. Â
The 15-minute class switchÂ
Your class ends at Litton Reaves. Your next class starts at the Center for the Arts. In 15 minutes. Google Maps says you can make it. Your legs say otherwise. You start walking. Then start speedwalking. Then whatever version of running is socially acceptable when you’re carrying a backpack and trying to look like you’re fighting for your life. And somehow, you make it. Barely.Â
Maybe the real horror was college all alongÂ
Forget haunted houses. The real scares are the Hokie Plague, full parking lots, missed buses, gameday traffic and realizing your Hokie Passport has no money when you need to print something immediately. And honestly? I’d still take all of it over a guy in a mask chasing me through a dark hallway. At least at Virginia Tech, the Hokies might yell back. Â