If you’re a girl, you may be familiar with the idea of disliking your birthday. All over social media, women talk about how every year on their birthday, they tend to cry. You would think that a day as special as one’s birthday would be filled with smiles, but hating your birthday is not as uncommon as you would think. Feeling this way is so common that there is even a name for it: the birthday blues.
Crying on your birthday can be from numerous things, and it’s honestly difficult to pin down the reason why. Birthdays can be extremely overwhelming, plans may change last minute or one may just feel unappreciated. Though there seems to be a collective experience that young women and girls go through that feels impossible to explain. I can personally recall countless birthdays where I cried for no actual reason. While the people in my life always seem to make my birthday special, there is a pressure that follows growing up as a girl. Talking with a friend, we came to the conclusion that part of the issue is the expectation we feel to be happy on our birthday. It honestly sounds stupid, and in a way, doesn’t make sense. But if you really think about it, people around you probably expect to see you smiling and cheerful on your birthday. The expectation is overwhelming and can make you feel like you are not present enough.Â
In a time where girls constantly compare themselves, growing older can make them feel like they are not following the right “timeline.” Age is especially complicated for women. Growing older, women are surrounded with the idea of not being enough. Part of the issue is the societal expectations surrounding women’s achievements. With pressures of marriage, career, and even children, women are weighed down emotionally by being told that they are “running out of time.” And many women don’t desire marriage or children, so getting closer to the age that it is “expected” can feel uncomfortable. When a woman says she isn’t getting married, people automatically think that there is something wrong, and the same goes for not wanting children. Women are so much more than their ability to be partners and have children, but for some reason it’s been created to be something to “look forward to.” It’s also important to understand that many women do want marriage and children, and that’s okay. Women should experience these huge events when they are ready, not because of some made-up societal clock. Birthdays can be emotional because of the unknown. Feeling left behind because you’re not in a relationship or haven’t gotten your dream job is normal, though it shouldn’t shape how you treat yourself.Â
Growing older can be emotional, especially if you feel behind. Though it’s important to know that everyone lives a different life. There is no actual “timeline” one should follow. What matters is doing what you truly see for yourself, on your own timeline.