The art of indulging in a captivating, binge-worthy reality television series is a simple joy that many (including me) enjoy often. Spending hours upon hours glued to a screen, watching someone else’s life and other people’s problems, lets us, as viewers, forget about our own.
The joy of watching reality television is knowing you will never have to deal with half the drama these people face daily. You can watch the show and go on with your own life without considering that what you just watched was real people and their lives that (for the most part) aren’t scripted.Â
This is where I have a hard time fully immersing myself in a reality TV show because when I am reminded that these people are being treated and spoken to in a demeaning way, it quickly stops being funny.Â
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives (SLOMW) premiered its latest season on Sept. 10. Although this one has half as many episodes as previous seasons, it still showcases a lot of toxic behavior from the married couples.Â
For those who aren’t as well-versed in Mormon wives as I unfortunately am, the show centers on a group of Mormon mothers exploring their newfound fame on TikTok while juggling their husbands, children, and drama.
The main couples in the cast who display toxic and unhealthy behavior in their relationships are Jessi Draper & Jordan Ngatikaura, Jen & Zac Affleck, and Taylor Frankie Paul & Dakota Mortensen. Each of these couples appears from season one to five, and in every season the show seems to gloss over concerning patterns of toxicity as entertainment rather than something serious.
Jessi and Jordan are the most normalized unhealthy couple in the entire show, as they themselves view their unhealthy behaviors as something that is the typical for them. In the latest season, Jessi even admitted that when she was getting frustrated during an argument with a friend, she accidentally called the friend ‘Jordan’ because she was so used to yelling at him.Â
She said to a group of her friends and their partners that that level of confidence when discussing something that is normally serious, tells us, as viewers, that she doesn’t view it as serious. Despite the underlying issues in this conversation, it is played off as a silly little joke by not only Jessi, but also by production, which frames it as light-hearted rather than what it actually is.
The next unhealthy couple featured is Jen and Zac, who are only ever shown agreeing with each other when it’s about tearing someone else down, something both of them do numerous times within the seasons.Â
Zac has expressed his disdain towards Jen having work opportunities that take her away from their children because he claims he quit medical school “for her.” Any man who can’t own up to his own choices, and then punishes someone else for something he did on his own time, isn’t someone you should spend any of your time with.Â
Their relationship is unfortunately built upon young love that developed far too quickly, and now Jen feels stuck in a marriage with three kids and another one on the way.
The discussion around Jen and Zac’s relationship is difficult, and each season, viewers keep waiting for their divorce announcement because of Zac’s treatment. Instead we get a baby announcement, telling viewers of the show (most likely younger generations) that having another baby can save a marriage when, in reality, it cannot.Â
Jen is influencing young women to stay in that unhappy marriage and keep having children because why not?
No! This unhealthy cycle this couple keeps going through isn’t something this show should focus on, because at this point the producers are trying to milk the situation for all it’s worth. Â
Unfortunately, there could be a whole article on its own about the textbook definition of a toxic couple: Taylor and Dakota. Viewers of this show have had the absolute “pleasure” of enduring the frequent back-and-forth fights, cheating scandals, break-ups, and getting back together.Â
The number of times they have gotten into screaming matches and then are shown lying in bed together the next morning is truly disheartening. Not just from the standpoint of a viewer, but as a woman, it is really upsetting to have to watch Taylor get treated in such an awful way because she truly believes she deserves it.
I will say, reality television is a tricky area to cover since it’s supposed to show the difficult, not-pretty parts of life to make it as “real” as possible, but I feel SLOMW crosses a line quite frequently. The show has become not fun to watch anymore because of how awful everyone is to each other and towards their partners. And the fact that this has been happening for multiple seasons, and years, tells the audience these women will keep enduring it.Â
The glamorization of the toxic relationships featured in SLOMW is encouraging the viewers to feed into the harmful nature these women are surrounded by.
If we ignore it, nothing will change.
Want to keep up with HCBU? Make sure to like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, check out our Pinterest board, watch us on TikTok, and read our latest Tweets!