I recently ended a long-term relationship, two and a half years, to be specific. It wasn’t an easy decision or a decision I wanted to make, but it became increasingly clear that it would be the right choice for both of us. It wasn’t done out of resentment, hatred, or even a loss of love from me; it was quite the opposite, actually. I didn’t want to lose the love I have for myself.Â
I’m not sure if I’ve been blessed or cursed with a big heart, but I take on other people’s emotions as my own. I strive to help everyone, struggle when I see others hurting, and want to fix my peers’ problems regardless of whether it’s impossible. Therefore, I think this relationship was a good reminder that I can not fix everything on my own.
Sometimes when things are out of your control and despite how hard you try, it’s just not up to you to resolve. What I’ve learned is, don’t lose yourself in the process. When tears become more regular than smiles, and you find yourself begging for a hint of simple communication, it’s ok to choose yourself. Truly loving yourself means knowing when to walk away. It doesn’t make you selfish, especially if you have fought so hard for so long; honestly, it makes you stronger.
Life is too short to beg for love from somebody who isn’t in the right place to give it to you. The key is to respect yourself enough to know that you deserve more, then take the hard step of going to find it. Whether you spend some time on your own or begin the journey of finding someone new, do it for yourself. Even though it may be scary, it’s ok to slow down and even start over. While both of those things are easier said than done, they are a part of life.
To really put it in perspective, think about it this way:
- If you had a daughter going through the same thing, what would you tell her to do?
- Do you really want to walk down the aisle towards the wrong person because you were too scared to make the tough decision to leave?
I’m still a believer that the type of love story you see in a Rom-Com could be real, but you’re never going to find that in someone who doesn’t see your worth. Likewise, you’re not going to be genuinely happy till you see the worth inside yourself. So set a goal to embrace what makes you special, never give up on love, and most importantly, don’t forget who you are.