I Followed My Family To College

I wanted to be the black sheep. I planned on being different. I desired so badly to be my own. But the bond. Our bond had always been greater. It was the first day of my senior year of high school that I decided St. Bonaventure held my future. 

I didn’t enjoy high school. From the day it started, I can remember wishing the four years away. My peers were not my people. The popular drive to be, dress, and act like everyone else was not for me. It’s how it was, however. Those were the expectations. Be just like the rest. This is not always a bad desire to have. To be like the rest. Just not in that place. In my high school, being just like the rest sounded like a nightmare. Like everything I did not want to be. With every heartbreak, every day I had wished away, and each moment I felt alone, I can always remember the cure being my older siblings. 

The three of us have slowly been becoming adults together for some time now. Every year that passes somehow makes my older brother, sister, and me even closer. I remember the day my brother decided to go to school here at Bonaventure. I was unimpressed. I’d never heard of the school outside of the boys’ trips he’d take with our father and all their friends for basketball games once a year.  Although I was unimpressed, I was also uninterested. I had bigger fish to fry at the time. Things like starting high school. 

It wasn’t until my sister began looking at schools that I became interested in St. Bonaventure. I figured that next to her other options, there was no way she’d end up here. I loved the size, the detail of the basketball season, and the distance from my house. I knew that by the time I chose to come here, my oldest brother would be gone. That this would be my school by then. Sure enough, however, my older sister chose Bonaventure too. Now who’s the follower if I decide to attend as well? Me. 

For an entire year, I put what I always knew to be my future on the back burner. After a year of becoming aware of myself, I simply followed my heart. The desire to be different was just my desire to be confident in myself. Who am I if not a kid sister first? That is just a part of my true self. Choosing Bonaventure has somehow made the three of us even closer.

During these past three weeks, I’ve covered miles and miles on the trail by the river. I reflect on where and who I was this time last year. When I think about where I am now, I feel an overwhelming amount of gratitude. I have the freedom to go to class for two to three hours a day. I can attend Mass any day I want to. I enjoy what I’m learning and who I’m surrounded by. Most of all, I do not have to feel the pain of starting a new chapter hundreds of miles away from the person who feels most like home. 

So, maybe, I’ll never be a black sheep. Who I truly am reflects a lot of who I look up to and love most in this world. Who we are and who we desire to be has everything to do with the environment we put ourselves in. Surround yourself with those you want to be just like. Don’t run from them. Who knows? They could be the path to your future. 

• college
• love
• mental health