I spent over $20,000 this summer.
I really blew through my savings, and I’m sure that this is oversharing and inappropriate for the internet. However, I don’t see a need to dance around the number.
An important thing to know about me is that I am a penny pincher. Ever since I started babysitting at age 11, my money was not to be spent. Maybe this is the side effect of gaining consciousness during a recession or just another way I control my life, but I am notorious for it.Â
In middle school, when my friends and I would go out to eat or get ice cream, I would refuse to buy anything, and that’s stayed with me into young adulthood. Although I wouldn’t say that refusal is the right word because it feels more like I physically cannot spend money.Â
Until last month, I had been using the same stage makeup that my mom got me for my 14th birthday for a production of Scrooge, which certainly did not translate well to going out. And truthfully, I only bought new products because I had a gift card and 20% off. I’m almost 22, by the way.
Now, I’m not out here saying that I’m Bradley on a Budget, but I have always had a lot of fear and stress around spending money. The unexpected benefit of this is that I had the money to spend when the time came, but it certainly didn’t make spending it any easier.
My original plan was to au pair (a very budget-friendly way to travel) for the summer, but I had started searching for a host family too late and had to give up on that dream. Instead, my sister and I spent two weeks backpacking Europe. We went to seven countries in 12 days.Â
Of course, we were both determined to spend as little money as possible. So, we paid for only a few tourist attractions — like the ABBA Museum in Stockholm, the Beer Museum in Brussels, or last-minute Harry Styles tickets — and ate a lot of grocery-store meals.
Eventually, it got easier to spend money, but I won’t say I didn’t cry and stifle an anxiety attack after buying myself a pair of earrings in Luxembourg. Overall, I think our trip taught me what purchases are worth it to me.
This knowledge was especially helpful because a month later I took another flight to London to visit my partner on his study abroad. Now, this flight was a hard decision because it was so grossly overpriced, and I had bought it well in advance, but very shortly after paying for the hotels and flights for my first trip.
However, I think booking the second flight helped me fix my relationship with money. Making a huge purchase without literally agonizing over it for four months beforehand showed me that I will not perish or fail by spending the money that I have saved on what it’s saved for.
The biggest example of this, and my biggest expense of the summer, was my car. As a very nervous driver, I refused to buy just any car. So, I put down a sizable down payment on the safe mom car of my dreams: a 2020 Subaru Outback.
I truly think that my previous summer escapades helped me mentally prepare for such a big purchase by teaching me that I will not explode after tapping my credit card, which has helped me calm down about small, trivial purchases.
You know the saying that “you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet?” Well, I had to drop a few bands to stop crying at Walmart self-checkout, and it was 100 percent worth it.