“Will everyone like me?” I am pretty sure that was one of the questions we all held quietly when we stepped into the campus for the first time. It is a natural one too. After all, we were experiencing a big change, and living in a new environment does make even the best of us self-conscious and wary. We may either brush off our concern for a while, or overthink the same. Until our brain muddles, and the urge to be away from everyone becomes overwhelming. But one thing is certain, the thought lingers in our subconscious until we feel comfortable in the place and for some it might take months, if not years to finally put rest to the question.
Just like Sheldon Cooper reads tips on how to make friends to actually make friends in real life, which may or may not have worked out, this article is going to contain a list of things people find likable in someone. To the person reading, since you clicked on this because you thought it was going to be useful, I hope you are able to do the needful with the information.
There are already a lot of notions people have when you ask them to describe a likable person: Warmth. Confidence. Smile. Good sense of humor. Kindness. While these are obviously true, there are many other qualities which matter more and are underrated.
In fact, being likeable is dependent on our emotional intelligence. EQ – refers to our ability to understand, monitor and make sense of our own emotions and others’ emotions as well. In a way, all the features described below come under the emotional intelligence subtopics of self-regulation, self-awareness, social awareness and communication. People with high EQ tend to be likable and likability gives way to better hire, trust, stronger bonds, easier teamwork, and opens the door to new career and personal opportunities. And since our EQ is a flexible skill which we tend to learn over time, we can improve it and be more receptive to our surroundings. Thus, the five characteristics that makes someone instantly likable are,
1. Have the ability to be flexible with different people.
By this, I mean an understanding on how to change the way we behave and act accordingly as we come across a multitude of people. Behavioral adaptability helps you remain non-judgmental and match different people’s energy by adjusting to their pace and tone in a conversation. Individuals who know how to act in different scenarios create an atmosphere of security and that instantly makes the other person feel comfortable and safe.
2. Know what to say in a particular setting.
Right words. Right phrases. Asking the right follow up ques tions. People love when someone they are talking to actually puts in the effort to truly get to know them. Be curious about the people around you.
3. Pay attention.
Being genuine is a collectively cherished trait. People tend to like people who put in the effort to actually remember the tiniest details about them. When we truly notice and acknowledge someone, we make them feel valued and important. Thus, putting your phone down and giving someone your full uninterrupted attention goes a long way.
4. Ask open-ended questions.
In conversations where someone you just met says, “Have you watched X show?” and you haven’t. Instead of saying no, try saying, “I have heard of it from a friend, they said it is really good. Can you explain it to me?”. This opens room for a whole new conversation.This one moment of curiosity allows you to not only learn about a person, but see the world their way.
5. Consistency, reciprocity and reliability.
All of which ensures that likability is long term and fulfilling to both ends.
While it is not realistic to do everything on this list at the risk of jeopardizing your own self and personality. This article is by no ways a guide to change how you act naturally, but keeping these in mind, tuning and sharpening your emotional intelligence is one of the investments that pays off in how likeable and approachable you come across to others.